(disclaimer) this post is not directed at anyone online who uses B/bitch as part of H/her handle. this post is directed souly at my soon to be ex-Wife, who will never see this post as She is not an inernet junky like M/most of U/us are.
ok, now on with my story. i have been legally married to The Bitch since November 29, 1986. on the 29th of next month it will have been 16 years (groans) most of them unpleasent and some down right painful.
please understand that i cap all references to Her, as She is very Dominant! She is what i call a "Closet Dom" as She has no clue what She is or what i am. She knows "of" the lifestyle, but thinks it and anything that is not pure vanilla is sick and deranged!
i know, M/most if not A/all of Y/you are thinking that i should have left Her sooner. to this thought i must agree, but Y/you see there was a small problem with that. She made me feel so totally worthless and undesireable, that She had me believing that if She left me, that i would never find someone else and that i would spend the rest of my life alone.Y/you may be wondering how She did this to me a man. well it wasn't easy and She still doesn't even know She did it.
`thinking back` i think it all started on O/our wedding night. to summerize a long story, my tux was wrong, which pissed me off so much that i forgot the marage licence in my room. the church was a little over an hour drive away. i was 15 to 20 minutes from the church when i realized that i didn't have the marage licence with me. i spun the car around and headed back to my room. i was about 15 minutes away when the car broke down. a nice guy stopped and drove me back to my room and was gonna drive me to the church, but my Best Man and one of my Ushers were standing outside my door.
i got my marage licence, they put on their tuxes and we left. mind you i did call the church and explain what was happening and that i would be there, but i was already an hour late by then. i was 2 hours late, half the guests had left, the wedding was long, the reception ran late, W/we got stopped at the main gate on O/our way to O/our appartment for a random search. W/we get to the appartment, i carried Her across the threshold and unloaded all of the presents to find Her curreled up in bed ready to go to sleep. i got in bed with Her to consummate the marage. She was too tired, She just wanted to go to sleep, so W/we did it the next morning.
then there are all the times (like almost everytime) W/we made love and She would say, "Is that ALL?" when i got done.
or all the times that i was horny and She wasn't and She would get mad at me for tryng to turn Her on.
then there are the times when i would get home from work and try to give Her a hug and kiss, just to be pushed away.
let U/us not forget the number of times that while snuggling up to Her before bed, that my hand would come to rest on one of Her breasts and She would throw it away from Her.
Her church came before me and the kids. i can understand Her God, but Her church too?
there are also the times that W/we would be making love when she would remember that She had been mad at me for something, and i had to stop.
according to Her, i am mentally ill because i have fetishes.
did i mention all the times that She told me that i was worthless and that i was lucky that She stayed with me, because no one else would want me?
how about all the times that i asked Her to wear certain outfit to something and She flat refused to wear it, yet if i didn't wear what She wanted me to She would get mad at me and not have sex with me.
She used sex as a weapon way too many times. there were several times that She wouldn't put out for 6 months or more.
i don't know about A/any of Y/you who may read this, but this all sounds wrong to me!
lil blue fae *jamie*
