A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony. On his first day there he
takes off his clothes and starts to wander around. A gorgeous petite
blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets aroused.
The woman notices his "interest," comes over to him and says, "Did you
call for me?" The man replies "No; what do you mean?"
She says, "You must be new here. Let me explain. It's a rule here that
if you get an erection it implies you called for me."
Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies him down
on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and lets him have his way with her.
The man is ecstatic; he can't believe his good fortune. He continues to
explore the colony's facilities. He enters the sauna and as he sits down, he
farts.
Within minutes a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam room toward
him, "Did you call for me?!" asks the hairy man.
"No, what do you mean?" says the newcomer.
"You must be new," says the hairy man, "It's a rule that if you break
wind, it implies that you called for me." The huge man spins him around,
bends him over a bench and has his way with him.
The newcomer staggers back to the colony's office, where he is greeted
by the smiling, naked receptionist, "May I help you?" she says.
The man yells, "Here's my membership card. You can have the key back
and you can keep the $500 membership fee."
"But sir," she replies, "you've only been here for a few hours. You
haven't had the chance to see all our facilities."
The man replies, "Listen lady, I'm 68 years old; I may only get an
erection once a month, but I fart 20 times a day!