Happy Friday!! A man walks into his house with a duck under his arm.He walks up to his wife with it and says,"This is the pig I've been f*cking'."His wife says,"That's a duck."He quickly replies,"I wasn't talking to you."...
Happy Thursday!! There was ary cat by the lake when a sausage came floating by. So the cat reached out to grab it, but missed and wet its paw. A few minutes later,a huge sausage came floating by, and the cat frantically reached out until it fell in. The moral of this story: The bigger the sausage, the wetter the pussy!
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband.Suddenly, her husband came into the kitchen."Careful," he said,"CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them!TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER?They're going 2 STICK! Careful.. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL!You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind?Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget that. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"The wife stared at him."What is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"The husband calmly replied,"I just wanted to show you what it feels like when I'm driving."
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