So I was just messin around here on Cherry and I happened across this so enjoy and please show sum luv to PopPop73068 who posted this in a blog. Also check out his stash and give him a rating.





A Redneck Christmas



'Twas the night before Christmas in my redneck house;
Junior was wringing the neck of a mouse.
My .357 sat right on my lap
Just waiting for Santa, to take all his crap.

The young'uns were restless and watching in shifts
To see if he'd come and I'd shanghai some gifts,
When out from the yard came a godawful noise
O could it be him with a shitload of toys?

I jumped from my chair and my crotch screamed in pain
I caught my left nut on my wallet's big chain
But then I unwrapped it and flew out the door
Yelling, "Hold it right there, you old son of a whore!"

"Hands in the air and kick over that sack,
And then real slowly move 20 feet back."
He did as I told him, fat, stupid old elf;
I laughed so damn hard I near pissed on myself.

I grabbed his big bag with a hearty guffaw
Then I dragged it inside after spitting some chaw.
I heard him take off - in a second he split,
Leaving my yard heaped with fresh reindeer shit.

Back in my chair I let out such a yelp
That the wife and the kids came to offer their help,
Their eyes filled with wonder - I started to drag
A whole shitload of presents from Santa's big bag.

I big can of crawdads for when I go fishin'
A whopping belt buckle - a brand new transmission,
A carton of Redman, some boots and a knife,
A nice leather strap just for beating the wife.

A matched set of hubcaps, some new fuzzy dice,
A country 8-track and a Hustler, how nice!
An inflatable dollie for when the old hag
Starts her bitching and moaning and goes on the rag.


When out of the bag I had pulled every bit
I said "Looks like you kids won't be getting no shit."
Here was my chance to try out my new strap
When they started their bawling and screaming and crap.

I chased them upstairs and I popped me a brew,
I sat back in my chair, filled my mouth up with chew,
With my heart full of gladness, my soul full of cheer,
I yelled up, "Maybe you'll get some presents next year!"

_____________________________________________________________

There should be a link at the bottom of this if u wanna check it out, kinda funny.....as far as I can tell, the lower the % the worse it is lol

Your Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 Score Is...
	Your Score:	Average For All Users	Average For All Straight Single Pink-Skinned 20 to 26-Year old Females (798 total)
Dating	30.77%	34.25%	30.43%	Dated seriously
Self-Lovin'	78.79%	61.45%	65.73%	Never taken out of the packaging
Shamelessness	51.61%	77.69%	75.61%	It takes a couple of drinks
Sex Drive	47.62%	75.45%	75.15%	I got needs, baby, you gotta unnastan'!
Straightness	3.7%	39.89%	29.81%	Knows the other body type like a map
Gayness	38.89%	78.93%	87.75%	At least one weekend of ecstasy
Dominant	83.33%	87.16%	89.14%	Afraid to cross at "Don't Walk" signs
Submissive	77.78%	87.56%	87.76%	Submits to no one... almost
Fucking Sick	78.57%	90.14%	90.52%	Refreshingly normal
Total Score	59.32%	74.2%	74.47%
Take The Ultimate Purity Test 2.0 and see how you match up! (By The Ferrett)