Over 16,508,867 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

CAKE OR BED

Body: CAKE OR BED A HUSBAND IS AT HOME WATCHING A FOOTBALL GAME WHEN HIS WIFE INTERRUPTS, "HONEY, COULD YOU FIX THE LIGHT IN THE HALLWAY? IT'S BEEN FLICKERING FOR WEEKS NOW". HE LOOKS AT HER AND SAYS ANGRILY, "FIX THE LIGHTS NOW? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE GE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO". FINE, THEN THE WIFE ASKS, "WELL THEN, COULD YOU FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? IT WON'T CLOSE RIGHT " TO WHICH HE REPLIED, "FIX THE FRIDGE DOOR? DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE WESTINGHOUSE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO". "FINE", SHE SAYS "THEN YOU COULD AT LEAST FIX THE STEPS TO THE F RONT DOOR? THEY A RE ABOUT TO BREAK " "I'M NOT A CARPENTER AND I DON'T WANT TO FIX STEPS". HE SAYS, "DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE ACE HARDWARE WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU. I'M GOING TO THE BAR!!!! " SO HE GOES TO THE BAR AND DRINKS FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS................................... HE STARTS TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT HOW HE TREATED HIS WIFE, AND DECIDES TO GO HOME AS HE WALKS INTO THE HOUSE, HE NOTICES THAT THE STEPS ARE ALREADY FIXED. AS HE ENTERS THE HOUSE, HE SEES THE HALL LIGHT IS WORKING. AS HE GOES TO GET A BEER, HE NOTICES THE FRIDGE DOOR IS FIXED. "HONEY", HE ASKS, "HOW'D ALL THIS GET FIXED?" SHE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU LEFT I SAT OUTSIDE AND CRIED. J UST THEN A NICE YOUNG MAN ASKED ME WHAT WAS WRONG, AND I TOLD HIM. HE OFFERED TO DO ALL THE REPAIRS, AND ALL I HAD TO DO WAS EITHER GO TO BED WITH H IM OR BAKE A CAKE". HE SAID, "SO WHAT KIND OF CAKE DID YOU BAKE?" SHE REPLIED, "HELLOOOOO.. DO YOU SEE BETTY CROCKER WRITTEN ON MY FOREHEAD? I DON'T THINK SO!"

tragic story

chinese horoscope

NO CHEATING!!!!THIS GAME HAS A FUNNY / CREEPY OUTCOME. DO NOT READ AHEAD, JUST DO IT.IT TAKES ABOUT 3 MINUTES - WORTH A TRY 1st. Get PEN and PAPER 2nd. WHEN CHOOSING NAMES, MAKE SURE THEY ARE REAL PEOPLE THAT YOU ACTUALLY KNOW 3rd. GO WITH YOUR FIRST INSTINCTS !!!!! Very important for good results. 4th SCROLL DOWNONE LINE AT THE TIMEDON..T READ AHEAD otherwiseYOU WILL RUIN THE FUN. 1. On a blank sheet of paper, WRITE NUMBERS 1 through 11 in a COLUMN on the LEFT. 2. Next to the NUMBERS 1 & 2,WRITE DOWN ANY2 NUMBERS YOU WANT. DO YOU HAVE A FAVORITE NUMBER? 3. Next to the NUMBERS 3 & 7, WRITE DOWN THE NAMES OF TWO MEMBERSOF THE OPPOSITE SEX. SAME SEX IF GAY CAUTION: DO NOT LOOK AHEAD or IT WILL NOT TURN OUT RIGHT 4. WRITE ANYONES NAME(like FRIENDS or FAMILY...)next to 4, 5, & 6. DON..T CHEAT OR YOU..LL BE UPSET THAT YOU DID 5. WRITE down FOUR SONG TITLES in 8, 9, 10, & 11 6. Finally, MAKE A WISH ARE YOU READY? HERE IS THE KEY TO THE GAME 1. THE NUMBER of PEOPLE THAT LIKE YOU is found inSPACE 2 2. THE PERSON IN SPACE3 IS THE ONE YOU LOVE 3. THE PERSON YOU LIKE but your relationship CANNOT WORK is inSPACE 7. 4. YOU CARE MOST about the PERSON you put inSPACE 4 5. THE PERSON YOU NAME IN NUMBER 5 IS THE ONE WHOKNOWS YOU VERY WELL. 6. THE PERSON YOU NAMED IN 6 IS YOURLUCKY STAR 7. THE SONG IN 8 IS THE SONG THAT MATCHES WITH THEPERSON IN NUMBER 3 8. THE TITLE IN 9 IS THE SONG FOR THEPERSON IN 7 9. THE 10TH SPACE IS THE SONG THAT TELLS YOU MOST ABOUTYOUR MIND10. AND 11 IS THE SONG TELLING HOW YOUFEEL ABOUT LIFE11. NUMBER 1 IS YOURLUCKY NUMBER.
Wanna know how hot you are??? You're OK-----teddy bear You're CUTE----red rose I'd Do Ya!!----any spicy gift You're SEXY----dozen roses Let's Be Friends----kitten We can party----any liquid refreshment Wanna get Married??---any big pimpin' gift

married life

i got this from a friend thought it was funny A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face," he answered. "I'm going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... You know... they have frozen glasses." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, Tootsie Roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, and little quiches. "But my sweet honey... at the bar, you know, there's swearing, dirty words and all that." "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie? LISTEN UP, CHICKEN SH_T! SIT YOUR AS_ DOWN, SHUT THE HEL_ UP, DRINK YOUR G_ _ DAM_ BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED A_S ISN'T GOING TO ANY FUC_IN' BAR! THAT SH_T IS OVER, GOT IT, JACK_SS?" And they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?

I WONDER????

I WONDER???? Body: Everybody wonders "what if" once in a while. Just hit REPLY and fill it out about the person that posted this. It will only go to the person who posted it in the first place, and no one else can see it, don't forget to be honest! What if 1. I died: 2. I kissed you: 3. I lived next door to you: 4. You found out I was married: 5. I stole something: 6. I was hospitalized: 7. I refused to leave my home: 8. I got into a fight while you were there: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MY 9. Personality: 10. Eyes: 11. Hair: 12. Family: WOULD YOU 13. Help me hide a body? 14. Keep a secret if I told you one? 15. Hold my hand? 16. Take a bullet for me? 18. Try to solve my problems? 19. Love me? 20. Date me? HAVE YOU EVER 21. Lied to make me feel better? 22. Wanted to kiss me? 23. Wanted to kill me? 24. Broke my heart? 25. Kept something important from me? 26. Thought I was unbearably annoying? AND MORE 27. Who are you? 28. Are we friends? 29. When and how did we meet? 30. Describe me in three words: 31. What was your first impression? 32. Do you still think that way about me now? 33. What reminds you of me? 34. If you could give me anything, what would it be? 35. How well do you know me? 36. When's the last time you saw me? 37. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't? 38. Are you gonna repost this to see what I say about you??

Message:

Message: Y = Yes, N = No, M = Maybe Would you? Will you? [_] give me your number? (_ _ _) _ _ _- _ _ _ _ [_] give me your screenname? ______________ [_] kiss me? [_] let me kiss you? [_] watch a movie with me? [_] go to dinner with me? [_] let me drive you somewhere? [_] take a shower with me? [_] buy me a drink? [_] take me home for the night? [_] let me sleep in your bed? [_] Sing car karaoke w/ me? [_] re-post this for me to answer your questions? [_] Come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere? [_] let me make you breakfast? [_] help me with homework? [_] tickle me? [_] let me tickle you? [_] stick up for me if i was being put down? [_] instant message me? [_] greet me in public? [_] hang out with me? [_] bring me around your friends? D0 Y0U... [_] think im hott? [_] think im cute? [_] want to hook up with me? [_] want to be my bf/gf? AM I... [_] smart? [_] funny? [_] cool? [_] loveable? [_] adorable? [_] great to be with? [_] attractive? [_] mean? HAVE Y0U EVER... [_] thought about hooking up with me? [_] found yourself wanting a kiss from me? [_] wished I were there? [_] had a crush on me? [_] wanted my number? [_] had a dream about me? ARE Y0U... [_] happy you know me? [_] thinking about me? [_] interested in dating me?

TRUTH OR DARE

TRUTH OR DARE 5 questions. 5 chances. 5 honest answers. Thats all you get. You get to ask me 5 questions. (TO MY INBOX) Any 5 questions, anything, no matter how crazy they are. And I promise to answer them truthfully. No catch. But I dare you to repost this and see what people ask you

make you think

From: Alecto
Date: Jul 13, 2007 12:56 PM




You stay up for 16 hours

He stays up for days on end.

soldier%20cat.jpg

You take a warm shower to help you wake up.

He goes days or weeks without running water.

us-army3.jpg

You complain of a "headache", and call in sick.

He gets shot at as others are hit, and keeps moving forward.

Medic4Iraqi.jpg



You put on your anti war/don't support the troops shirt, and go meet up with your friends.

He still fights for your right to wear that shirt.

casket.jpg

You make sure you're cell phone is in your pocket.

He clutches the cross hanging on his chain next to his dog tags.

soldier%20praying.jpg

You talk trash about your "buddies" that aren't with you.

He knows he may not see some of his buddies again.

bloodstained%20road.jpg

You walk down the beach, staring at all the pretty girls.

He patrols the streets, searching for insurgents and terrorists.

SoldiersinMosul011505.jpg

You complain about how hot it is.

He wears his heavy gear, not daring to take off his helmet to wipe his brow.

military%20in%20prayer.jpg

You go out to lunch, and complain because the restaurant got your order wrong.

He doesn't get to eat today.

lone-soldier.jpg

Your maid makes your bed and washes your clothes.

He wears the same things for weeks, but makes sure his weapons are clean.

_40535109_iraqmosulafp220.jpg

You go to the mall and get your hair redone.

He doesn't have time to brush his teeth today.

077-SFC%20P%20Qatari%20Run%20lr.jpg

You're angry because your class ran 5 minutes over.

He's told he will be held over an extra 2 months.

idf%20soldier%20mourns.jpg

You call your girlfriend and set a date for tonight.

He waits for the mail to see if there is a letter from home.

213th_Soldiers_waiting_on_plane_home_Manas_lo_res_04_18_04.jpg

You hug and kiss your girlfriend, like you do everyday.

He holds his letter close and smells his love's perfume.

Exhausted-soldier.jpg

You roll your eyes as a baby cries.

He gets a letter with pictures of his new child, and wonders if they'll ever meet.

113379291_256e13e57b.jpg

You criticize your government, and say that war never solves anything.

He sees the innocent tortured and killed by their own people and remembers why he is fighting.


kissforehead.jpg

You hear the jokes about the war, and make fun of men like him.

He hears the gunfire, bombs and screams of the wounded.

oef%20mar03_2005%2068th%20med.%20co.%20honored%20rescue%20of%20the%20year01.jpg

You see only what the media wants you to see.

He sees the broken bodies lying around him.

SoldierDeadChild.jpg

You are asked to go to the store by your parents. You don't.

He does exactly what he is told even if it puts his life in danger.

xinsrc_89f45d87ffb14951b9da0251978d1194.jpg

You stay at home and watch TV.

He takes whatever time he is given to call, write home, sleep, and eat.

_41953998_afp416shadow.jpg

You crawl into your soft bed, with down pillows, and get comfortable.

He tries to sleep but gets woken by mortars and helicopters all night long.

war_iraq_death.jpg

If you support your troops, the click "reply to poster" copy all the codes, and repost the bulliten.

If you don't support your troops well, then don't re-post. You won't die in 7 days, your love life won't be affected, and you won't have the worst day ever. You don't have to repost. It's not like you know the men and women that are dying to preserve your rights.

blackhawkdown1.jpg


last post
16 years ago
posts
13
views
3,908
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0593 seconds on machine '175'.