There I was, rubber gloves gripping my talc covered hands, desperately avoiding scratching the itch on my nose, washing the dishes, when it happened. My dedication and desire to continue to update myy blog slipped out of my hands and whirred down the drain. To make matters worse, I accidentally flipped the wrong switch and set off the garbaged disposal tearing my "blog consistency" into a million pieces. You can imagine my surprise when I heard a knock on my door. I apprehensively opened it to find my lifelong idol, Punxatawny Phil. I staggered back and whispered, as if the FBI were ready to converge from their sting positions, "Phil! What are you doing? I thought the Groundhog's Day post-party lasted at least a week?!" He glanced to his left. He glanced to his right. "The heat is coming down on me Garrett. Apparently even a mild winter is more disturbing than Judge Alito and an Iranian Nuclear Holocaust combined! I had to get the hell out of Pennsylvania."
He then proceeded to ramble on about teenagers wielding mousetraps, a misguided horny pitbull, and an old woman who mistook him for a hat. With the help of a trucker named Oscar, he managed to begin his annual February vacation a bit early. He was pissed about missing Mardi Gras last year and had heard through the Grape Vine that I was in La Place. He then handed me a briefcase. I looked at him confused. "What's in it?" I asked. "The fucking Mohammed Cartoon that's enciting riots in the Middle East. It's your inspiration to get back on the blog bandwagon, you moron!" He smacked me upside my head. "Ouch! Why do you have to be so hostile Phil? I already apologized about the hoodie you gave me that got 'moldified' in the flood." I held up the (now) multi colored hoodie. "I don't care about the hoodie, " he grunted "I just want to know what the hell is going on with you these days. Are you staying in New Orleans another year? Have you gotten any booty yet? I'm gonna bag me some southern poontang." He ripped the hoodie out of my hands, took out a bic lighter and set the cloth aflame. I was aghast. Phil was right. I had buried myself deep into a mysterious hole and that is unlike me. I mean, shit, I love being the center of attention and I was cutting myself from any potential audience. SO........WITHOUT FURTHER ADO..........
A brief dissertation on my most recent exploits:
I sreturned to the struggle of my future plans. After having decided that I would absolutely return to my school next year, I hopped gingerly back on the fence. The direction of my school set me into a panic. I was floundering with my students. While many of my kids were making incredible gains in their education, the ones that chose not to embrace the value of school were spinning out of control like the bad guys dressed in black leotards inprisoned in that two dimensional square mirror from Superman. I felt like I was letting them down. I had chutes and ladders throughout my classroom and each day another student was sliding down a chute. The last week, I've begun to adjust my outlook. I invested heavily in the Positive Behavior Support Committee which has decided to address the gigantic communications gap between the administration and faculty at my school. We held a workshop both yesterday and today to orient the staff to our new school wide behavior plan and also to gather feedback on the major concerns they've been having with the students and the administration. I took copious notes and sat down with my principal. The two of us discussed the issues at length and she was positive and open to the faculty outcry. The morale had been down and problems had begun to fester. I explained to her that even though she would not be able to solve every problem that she confronts, it was necessary for her to communicate to the staff what she was doing and how she was trying her best even if it was becqause central office was tying her hands. The meetings that allowed the teachers to vent have lifted a great burden and I believe the next steps will prove to be positive and vital to continued growth of our community. Being a part of the process has reinvigorated me to commit to my school. While I won't claim 100% allegiance to returning next year, I am being pulled to that side of the fence by a bunch of cows (not that I'm implying my fellow teachers are cows....haha).
The past two weeks, I've been establishing a fruitful routine with healthy eating and sporadic exercise. It's not perfect, but it's a start and it's made me feel generally refreshed. I even hit up Urban Outfitters and restocked my wardrobe with some really cool work clothes and a stellar brown hoodie. The one tragedy about the hoodie though is that it makes me looke like Dan Akroyd in an SNL coneheads sketch. Therefore the hood part of the hoodie will be non-functional as much as an aesthetic accessory. This past weekend I went to Rock n' Bowl for the first time in my New Orleans' career. I bowled like shit, but the stylings of Kermit Ruffins gave my example of ineptitude some much needed flare. Jake's birthday was a blast. I love that guy. I watched the Super Bowl on Sunday. While the officiating was not their finest performance, Seattle Fans should shove their whiny lamentations up their you know where. I'm immersed in the fifth season of 24. I enjoyed the four previous seasons on DVD and I can't fucking deal with waiting an entire week for each epsiode. It is torture. My roommate made a funny joke about how if Kiefer Sutherland ever hosted SNL, they should have a sketch where Jack Bauer has to take a dump that lasts ten minutes and have the 24 clock and the sound effects running the entire time while he continues to emit farting noises and yelling, "I'll be out soon," and "I shouldn't have had Taco Bell for Lunch." Funny Stuff.
I have a lot more to get off my chest, especially the world politics situation with Iran and Palestine, but I will save that discussion for the near future. Also the State of the Union speech got me riled up. Alas...so it goes. Until we meet again. Now if you want some encore material write a fucking comment! No harm intended.
