Dear Fellow Pawns;
Since July 15, 2007 I have lived a lie that I can no longer go on with. I have started each of the last 5004 days by convincing myself that McDonald's would bring back the Double ZestaBurger--if only for a limited time and at only select locations. It was the only way I could get myself out of bed and through the day.
Alas, I can no longer lie to myself about my future. I now accept that it is bleak. I do not control my destiny, nor my happiness. Like all of you, I am just a pawn in McDonald's global marketing plan. The same company that has returned the McRib 496 limited times in the last 13 years has never given my well-being a second thought.
Well, McDonalds, you win. You have killed the will, spirit, and soul of Cruel Intentions , now my body will follow. I know though, that I will be going to a better place. A place where my happiness won't be controlled by a multi-national conglomeration of grill cooks in cheap suits. While my body will be buried in the same ground where Ray Kroc's is surely spinning; my soul will be with his in heaven. Not here in purgatory controlled by the whims of MBA's from Hamburger U.
Together Ray and I will forever feast on that delicious ambrosia, the Double Zesta Burger.
Sincerely,
Cruel Intentions
P.S. All those gay pornos aren't mine.
P.P.S. And I was superimposed.
