Beanie Babysitter · see all
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Ironically, this section is supposed to be about me; yet I keep changing it. I suppose this means that I am changing, perhaps even still trying to figure myself out.
Although I may not have everything quite figured out yet, there are a few things that I do know that will never change about me and I am still working on the rest.Probably the most obvious right now is that I am spending way too much time on the damn Internet...LOL. But seriously though, anyone who knows me; knows that I would just about do anything for the people I love and care about. Yea, at times it is a major weakness of mine, getting wrapped up too tight in love that I forget about what is important. But I am learning, the hard way of course.
Laughter, music, art, love, and friendships are all very important to me. I love to make people laugh its important; cause laughter is food for your soul. Sounds cheesy but trust me; walk a mile in my shoes and you will see things differently too. I know that a smile can change everything, and so I am practicing doing that more often too. Music, what can I say...I live for it! I love to sing to it, which can be alil scarey, listen to it, and feel it around me. They say that your sense of smell is the most powerful connection to your memories. Mine is music...the lyrics, or the sound of a familiar riff, I love it all.
Just once I would like to meet someone who is exactly who they say they are. Let me sum that up for you: Basically I want to meet someone who is not going to fill my head with a bunch of shit that they couldn't follow through on even if the fucking directions were written on the back of there hand! I refuse to waste anymore time listening to people who say one thing but mean something completely the opposite. Just say what you are really thinking, don't play games and for shit's sake be real. As if speaking the truth to someone is that hard anyway. I mean for real people, I am gonna be classified as a Bitch whether I tell you something too your face or wait and say it behind your back right? Here is the difference. the first way I am just a bitch,the second way I am a back stabbing one.
Same sort of of cliche holds true to most of the men I have dated. Classic example: Those who tell you one thing to your face but then turn around and do another; are labeled as assholes right? Those who fuck you first and then tell you shit and turn around and do another; are labeled as fucking assholes!
Point made? Look, all I am trying to say is that yes, sometimes the truth hurts people; but lies are so much worse! Lies make you question not only yourself, but the motives and intentions of everyone else that you meet along the way, and thats just not fair..its just plain mean!
Another thing: I'm not perfect and never will be. I'll piss you off with out even knowing. I'll say stupid stuff usually when you hurt my feelings and you may not even know you did and then take it back. I need to know you love me. If not I get very moody, emotional, insecure and the worst jealous (ewwww). You cant stop sending "Good Morning Hunny I Miss and Love You" texts even if we are fighting, cause then it makes me wonder and feel the above mentioned feelings and I close up and I start to push away. Its all the little things, that may be stupid to you but not to me. Because if I dont feel it then there is someting wrong. I need to feel it to. Saying it is just to easy. I'm hard to understand and I dont like to open up. I'm very insecure. When I'm wrong tell me but also tell me you love me to. I'm impatient when it comes to my heart. I'm very forgiving. I will get mad at you for 20 mins and then I am over it. I don't go on about it for hours or days. Not worth it if I care about you. But I want the same from you. Life is to short to stay mad and upset at someone if you truely care about them. But put all that aside and you will never find a girl that cares and loves you more then me.
Everyone wants to hear the words "I Love You" from someone they have feelings for. I believe if you truely love that person you should tell them. I also believe that those three little words are the worst and most painful words you can say to. They are very easy to say. But to many people say them to someone and truely do not mean them. When the person being told those three words really believes you do and also feels it for you, those three simple little words are like a knife stabbing them right through the heart. If you ever hear me tell you are anyone that "I love you/them" I do mean it. So please just think about what you say to people. Ive been told those words and believed it and was crushed to find out it was said to get what they wanted from me.
Just once I would like to feel that I was the type of girl you can bring home to meet your mom. I'm usually the type of girl "Your mom warned you about and your dad dreamed about and wanted you to have at least once in your life, before you settled down". Guess what? I am both. I can be very naughty in the bedroom and then go to directly to business meeting with out any trouble.
I am not a quiet person, I will speak my mind. Im diff not shy. I used to be. I usually dont let people walk all over me, unless I care about you. Im a successful business owner. I have goals and I usually achieve them. I'm very honest and do not like to lie are be lied to. It would be a lie if I said I never lie. Sometimes I do, always about stupid little shit. But still its a lie. The reason I dont like to lie is, I tell on myself within an hour. Just not to good at it. Im very independent. I can take care of myself.
Last thing; I like a challenge.. so challenge me.. if i fight, fight me back.. But it's ok to sometimes let me win. Know that i have my own mind and so should you. Nobody likes an easy girl or guy. Tell me when im wrong. Admit when im right. Respect me. My actions and my words. Feel free to argue with me. As long as you'll kiss and make up. But remind me as often as needed that you LOVE this and me. ***If you want to know anything else just ask.***
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