Let's burrow down to the soul. Past the crust and the mantle, through the outer core, all the way to the inner core, where we can calmly sort through the dissonance of life, or toss a cursory thought into the depths of the imagination and change everything. Let's turn ourselves into human drill bits and make the idea of going inside our minds as quaint and distant as watching strangers from a satellite.
Therein lies a big part of the story, but it is a story with many parts. The tale is one of sorrow and grief, for no man is a prophet in his own mind. Yet that synopsis barely scratches the corrugated surface of this bumpy parable.
Relating to the Byzantine complexities of this fable may be contagious. So putting on the spectacles of linear thinking in expectation of finding the answer to everything might signifiy inner blindness.
My view of the world IS different, for better and for worse. I am naturally attracted to symbolism. I can find symbolism in even the most mundane of things. Everything is a metaphor of something else. There is depth even in simplicity – reasoning by extrapolation.
I am an old soul to my own ferrous core, full of aphorisms, guile, and advice. I see the whole world and not just my place in it. I live with the authority of a man who knows his place and the abandon of a man whose time is running short.
Yet, I never seem to lose my sense of wonder. Some have said that I see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though I live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities. Ergo, I have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. My extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from myself, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response.
Of course, not all of life is rosy, and I am not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. I tend to have a sense of failed competence, and struggle with the issue of my own ethical perfection, in other words: performance of duty for the greater cause.
'Feeling' is caught in the approach and/or avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it a person or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.
I once read somewhere that, human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from their mistakes, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. We all know that thoughts turn into words and words can be used as weapons. But guns aren't dangerous until the trigger is pulled. So before you act on a train of thought, make sure you know where that train is headed, because deep down inside, we all wear a crown of thorns upon a liars throne, but it doesn't mean we don't dream or feel or hope.
A murmur impetuously surges through the thousands of thoughts lining the corridors of my mind. And in the midst of all the mayhem and madness, thoughts stand still for the elitist; hovering over the barely controlled chaos like a guillotine blade, allowing clarity to emerge. And unbeknownst to me, I realize I live with the serenity of a man at peace.
Suddenly a new hope rises from the ashes of hindsight to twist the tale to a new proscenium I was originally intended for in the first place.
