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What are you waiting for?

Do you remember the first night? Like a dream it swims in my head Everything felt so perfectly right As I sat there next to you on the bed The room was spinning around me But I could still see you there I let my hands roam free As they pushed aside your hair Exposing your sublime bare skin My fingers felt deep into your soul I could feel the heat that was within My mind was trying to gain control But my heart was over ruling the contest My lust could not be held at bay My passion was on a conquest I had to have you, it was the only way So I leaned in and swallowed hard Waiting for you to pull from me I closed my eyes and went on gaurd But it never happened, you let it be My lips touched as gently as I could And I breathed a sigh of relief I started to wonder if I should But that thought was very brief For if I shouldn't then you would have said But you didn't utter a word Instead you leaned close to my head And you let me fly free as a bird So I let loose all the emotions I had hid And I felt them being returned to me All this time I thought you would have forbid But alas you let my ecstasy run free And now it seems you feel the same And I thank God that I let myself go For deep inside me burns the flame If it wasn't for you then it could never grow So yes, I remember that first night It will live eternally in my mind Every thing was so perfectly right We will always be entwined At least in my heart
Teaching me to feel, lust takes over my skin Fingers play in lovelyness, now it's time to begin Your breath plays tricks upon my face Everything I do feels out of place I look into your eyes and yearn for your touch It's overwhelming the feeling is just to much I reach out to you hoping you will accept My mind is racing my heart is pacing It's in my soul that your love is kept Sweet lullabys dance inside my head Lust pulls me down I'm held by a mere thread But when it breaks I can not resist Your lips drift to mine sending shocks down my spine At that moment you're the only reason I exist My hands pull at your hips My tongue tastes your lips My desire builds like a fire My head spins like a spire Reaching straight to the sky My soul begins to cry I feel your touch I want you to much I can't keep it straight I feel it's to late You've taken over my heart Nothing can keep us apart The lighting from above The cry of the dove Minor nuances in contrast To the love that always lasts Neverending seems so strange Except when I think of you, I know it will never change As Always I leave you with all my best for it is all I have to give
Once again the day draws to a close, and a new one begins. And like every day for the past several months, my mind thinks of nothing else besides you. I can't help the longing that aches deep within my chest. The steady rhythm of my heart pounds out your name. It's all I can hear, nothing else matters as of late. A whirlwind of aphrodisia swirls inside me every time I think about what we have shared. My obession with you drives me to write these letters. They call to me like a ghost in the darkest night. I am powerless to the sound of your voice, the thought of your touch, the feel of your breath, and the burning of your skin against mine. I know that you probably don't feel as strongly as I do, but I must let you know what is happening to me. The mere mention of your name sends me into a feverish crave to at least see you. To at least let my tired eyes witness the glory of your company. I must sound like a madman, doting over you with such a ferocity. But my soul will not let me write anything less than what I'm truly feeling inside. My whole being wants you more with each passing second. Like Romeo who longs to see his love and wonders with all his heart and soul why he can't just be with his Juliet. I to have longed to find the reason that we must use the confides of the night to cover our passions. I know that it would never work out for us, but I crave to know what kind of God would keep such desire apart due merely to the reasons of society. How would we look to the outside? Two people who have betrayed. One a lover and the other a dear friend. Sometimes I feel a deep shame for what I have done, but the yearing I feel for you over shadows all thoughts of regret. Will we ever be able to openly share our feelings? Who knows? But in the mean time I want you to know that interest turns to wanting, wanting turns to desires, desires turn to needing, needing turns to lust, lust turns to passion, and passion turns to love. I'll leave you with those words. Do with them as you will. As always you are forevermore in my thoughts Your Romeo
This morning I woke to the sound of her wings They beat out my name with the song that she sings I opened one eye to sneak a quick peek Perched on a leaf I saw what I seek Sun light for hair and gossamer wing dew drop of dress the spirit of spring The chill of the morn bit cold on my skin but seeing her face warmed me within She noticed my eye and giggled with bell then winked back to me as fairy dust fell I called out her name as I lay in my bed but as quick as she came my dear fairy fled I rubbed at my eyes as I stared at her leaf had she really been there her stay was so brief I wispered good-bye and hoped she would hear "thank you sweet one" and wiped my last tear
Peering over the edge of reality The wind of change rushes past Blowing thoughts of you out Into eternity where they will last Closing my eyes to forget Tears stream down the cheeks of pain Clenching fist of rage I feel my muscles begin to stain The power is staggering I bear down and resist the force My toes grip the rock for stability On my shoulders settles the remorse My legs give up hope My body surrenders completely Defeat broods over my head Death comes to me sweetly But hope is never lost And euphoric memories remain Angelic light pierces through And banishes the bitter pain Floating sensations encompass Pleasure flows throughout My spirit is lifted to freedom My essence is freed from doubt For you have never left You've carried me all the way And with your pressence here You've brought hope for a new day
Cats of black and skin of green these are the colors or our halloween Pointy noses with warts galore goblins night out with trouble in store Broom sticks and kettles cause witches delight beware the full moon on this darkest night Spookies and spells ghost on the prowl Nightmarish creatures werewolves that howl Pumpkins and beggars line every street with little white bags they call for a treat Mystical brews that stir in the pot beware little tricksters lest you get caught The Morn brings "All Saints day" when things should be clean But tonight is for fun because it's Halloween
June 10th 1692 The incessant pounding continued upon the front door. So this is what being agitated by an angry mob is like I realized. I’ve often wondered how I’d react to something as cliché as a lynch mob after my head. I leaned back in my new found host’s rickety old rocking chair, and looked around the room. It was of the crudest of settings that I had chosen to take my stand. I’ve been preparing for this day for a very long time and the fruition of my efforts was close at hand. A log cabin, the interior walls daubed to prevent moisture from seeping in. A make shift chimney and potbelly stove sat in the far corner directly across from the door barring the mob. The doors hinges protested under the strain. “You will burn for your pact with Satan, witch!” called a familiar voice from outside. Ah, that would be the voice of the man that was the main focus of my scheme all along. Poor Tituba, the Indian slave woman I chose as my host. Collateral damage as it were, she will burn. By that time I will have vacated her body and return to my own time in the late 20th century. I looked down and caressed the belly that held the child of Reverend Samuel Parris. Soon that child would die by the hand of his own father and poor Sam wouldn’t even know that he had killed the only descendant he would ever have. I smiled and leaned back in the rocker, how wonderfully my planed had worked. But I should begin my retelling of this story at the beginning, or as close to the beginning as needed. My name is Eulacard ET Ildylia, I am the Grandmaster Warlock of the Order of the Crimson Rose, and I am the sole cause of the Salem Witch Trials. January 19th 1692 The moonlight shown down through the trees illuminating the path of the two young girls’ as they ran through the woods. “Elizabeth Wait!” called out Abigail. Nine year old Elizabeth stopped near an old oak and waited for her companion to catch up. “Hush now Abigail or you’ll wake the entire town.” chided Elizabeth. Abigail and Elizabeth giggled as they headed deeper into the forest. “Where exactly are you taking me Elizabeth?” “You’ll see, it’s magnificent, you won’t believe your eyes.” said Elizabeth. She snatched at Abigail’s hand and led her around a large section of briar bushes and into a small clearing. The ghostly full moon bathed the clearing in light. Abigail stopped dead in her tracks as she saw what lay in the center of the clearing on a bed of dried leaves and twigs. “Oh my, is that what I think it is?” asked Abigail “Yes, isn’t he magnificent?” “Is he dead?” she asked “No, he is very much alive. He called out to me from my bed chambers. He needs our help.” said Elizabeth Laying face down was the naked form of a grown man. From their vantage points they couldn’t see his face but the slow rise and fall of his back gave hint that he was only sleeping. Elizabeth slowly walked out into the clearing being careful not to disrupt his slumber. “No, come back Liz, he maybe dangerous.” warned Abigail. But she heeded not the warning of her best friend and waved her to silence. Slowly she crept upon him as he lay there peacefully. Ever so slowly she reached down to his shoulder. Closer and closer the tips of her fingers came to his skin. And closer and closer to the inevitable Elizabeth reached out to her fate. If only the two young girls had know the evil that had spirited itself to the woods just outside of their town in Salem Massachusetts they may have never ventured into that clearing that night. But they had, and their screams where never heard as I bathed in their blood. January 19th 1692 was the commencement of my machination. I possessed their bodies with the demons that would help me to fulfill my plan. Satan was in attendance that night and he imbibed pure pleasure from my sacrilege to him. The next five months would be the down fall of my enemies. January 20th 1692 The next day I watched from my haven in the woods as the two young girls exhibited the behavior of children possessed by Satan. Screaming obscenities, blasphemous chatter, and attacking passerby’s provoked the town’s people to come to the only logical conclusion there was. “They’ve got the devil in them!” yelled one of the locals. The children’s parents couldn’t figure out what had become of their young, innocent daughters. And so they were put under the scrutinous eye of the town elders. Reverend Samuel Parris led a fasting and prayer session to help exercise the evilness from the young girl’s bodies. I reveled in the pleasure of seeing it all come together so nicely. What fools, I was playing them all like the puppeteer would his puppets. It was so easy. February 26th 1692 After almost of a month of trying every ailment possible to “cure” the children the town was at a loss. I had to make sure the people of Salem were properly primed, and now it was time to give them a target to focus their frustrations upon. In the early morning hours 11 year old Abigail Williams screamed out for her mother. Her parents rushed into her room and found her lying on the floor. Her blood soaked night gown clinging to her body. “What’s happened!” cried her mother. Abigail was shaking and could barely speak. As her mother shook her trying to revive her Abigail whispered a name. A name that I had implanted into her mind through her dreams that night. “Tituba.” In Elizabeth’s room a very similar event was taking place at the exact same moment. Only she spoke the name of two other women Sarah Good, and Sarah Osborne. Unfortunately for them they were innocent bystanders of my plan. But necessary pawns nonetheless. They would help fuel the anger of the town by denying the accusations of the two young girls. “They’re Witches.” cried the young girls. “They cast spells upon us that night in the woods and they are in league with Lucifer himself” accused Elizabeth and Abigail. February 29th 1692 Warrants were issued for the arrest of Tituba, Good, and Osborne. It had worked, now it was my time to step into a more adamant role in this plan of mine. Tonight I will posses the body of Tituba and go to her master. Tonight I will plant the seed in her womb so that I may destroy it and once and for all rid myself of the scourge of my existence. That night I floated as a mist into her log cabin just outside of the church. As she lay sleeping in her bed I reached out with my magic and seized her soul replacing it with my essence. I stood inside her body and made my way into the chambers of the good Reverend. I positioned her over his bed and looked down at his sleeping form. A few quickly uttered words and he would soon be under my spell. I could feel the power of my master flowing through me as I reveled in its warmth. I cast the spell and watched as his eyes slowly opened and looked up at what he thought was his young Indian slave girl. I dropped the burlap shirt that she had been wearing and climbed into bed with the priest. Over the next several hours I forced her body to partake of his and made sure that the seed was planted. Then as he slept I let the spell over him fade and left his chambers to return to the log cabin. March 1st 1692 The next morning I woke as the town’s people gathered outside the door to arrest Tituba. One of them being Reverend Samuel, who didn’t even know that only a few short hours before he had laid with Tituba in the clutches of my magic and impregnated her. I let them capture me; it was all happening exactly as it should. Tituba, Good, and Osborne were taken directly to the town hall and examined by the local judges. Good, and Osborne stood their ground and proclaimed that the accusations were false. I on the other hand would not be so kind to Tituba, I confessed to being a witch and I told the ignorant judges that Satan had came to me many times over the past month in the form of a dog or a great hog beast. And that I was involved in circle of witches that consisted of several other members of the community. We were all three thrown to the dungeons and told that we would be hanged. Over the next several weeks many people were accused and tried as witches. I held my position over Tituba’s soul and bathed in my success. The trials were well under way and there were only a few more pieces that I had to fit into place to fulfill my quest. My covenant would take control in the year 1999 and the century long struggle between the Ildylia family and the Parris family would be at an end. I would hold the power to govern my order unopposed. For you see, it was the great, great, great, great grandson of Reverend Samuel Parris, Luther Parris, that had formed the witch hunters guild known as Witch Bane. The group that had kept me and my children hiding in the underbelly of modern society cowering like dogs. But it was all falling into place, how wonderful it would be to rule unchecked. June 9th 1692 I let a few months pass. And soon the dungeon was full of accused. One of those accused was Bridge Bishop. It was said that within the next few days Bishop was going to be hanged for the practice of witchcraft. That would be the first official death of a prisoner for such crimes. Tonight was the night that I would bury the dagger of my vengeance into the Parris family. Just before midnight still lingering in the body of Tituba I escaped the prison and like a ghost in the night I floated in my misty form to the bed chamber of Reverend Parris one final time. Only this time I would not fool him with spells. In the voice and visage of Tituba I called out to him. Parris woke with a start. “Who’s there?” he said. “It is I, you’re lover.” I said “I’ve come to have my way with you.” “What is this nonsense? Tituba, is that you?” he asked “Of course it is my dear Reverend.” I spat the word like it was a vile poison. “Do you not want my body? Am I not good enough for you this night?” He sat up rubbing his sleepy eyes. I ran to the side of his bed and pushed him back down. I shed my clothes as a snake sheds its skin and climbed upon the Reverend. “What is this blasphemy you witch” he yelled I grabbed him by the throat and squeezed cutting the wind from his voice. “Hush. It will all be over soon enough my lord.” I said as I watched the terror in his eyes. I slapped him once and then released my grip upon his neck. In a fit of terror and rage he grabbed my by the arms and threw me off the bed. I let him over power me and screamed as he slapped me across the face several times. Then smiled at him through bloody teeth just before I spit blood into his face. He jumped back and screamed as my blood burned his skin like acid. I summoned my most terrifying voice and cursed his name. “I lay a curse upon you Reverend. Satan is my new lover and we curse your loin Samuel. From this day forth you will no longer be able to bear children. Your line ends with you. No son will you bear to carry on the Parris name.” And with those words I cast the spell that would render Reverend Parris infertile. I yelled one last curse his direction and vanished from his room. June 10th 1692 The next evening Bishop was hanged by the neck and became the first public execution of a witch. It was late evening and the sun was setting on the town square. They led Bishop up to the gallows tied to a cross atop a mule drawn cart. The people of the town pelted her with miscellaneous debris. From the shadows I watched as the town constable slid the noose over her neck and pulled the latch letting the trap door beneath her fall away. The Reverend was standing next to the gallows with his bible in hand praying that the evil spirits be banished from this poor wretch’s soul as Bridget Bishops convulsed and died. Now was the perfect time. I came running out of the darkness of the setting sun cursing Parris’ name. The entire crowd of people turned and watched in amazement as I ran toward the Reverend bowling him over and screaming unintelligibly. “Stop her! She has tried to lay a curse upon us all.” cried Parris as I ran for the church ignoring the cries from the crowd. I heard them all start to give chase. Soon it would all be over. I run around the front of the church and headed into the log cabin that had once been the home of Tituba. Using a small ward spell I barred the door from the mob giving pursuit. And I believe this brings us back to where we began this story. The incessant pounding continued upon the front door. So this is what being agitated by an angry mob is like I realized. I’ve often wondered how I’d react to something as cliché as a lynch mob after my head. “You will burn for your pact with Satan, witch!” cried Samuel It was time, I would let the spell down and the lynch mob would rush in to take me to the gallows and there I would be hanged. I caressed my stomach, the belly of Tituba the Indian slave that was pregnant with the child of Reverend Samuel Parris. Tituba’s death would end the only family line of Parris and ensure the survival of the Order of the Crimson Rose my family’s covenant. And my curse would make sure that he would never again sire a son. I dropped the spell and the door to the small cabin exploded into splinters as the angry town folk poured into the cabin. They snatched up Tituba and carried her to the gallows, all the while she was screaming and crying that she was innocent. Poor, poor Tituba I still remember the gurgling sound as she choked and died at the end of the noose. And just for effect, as my final spell in this time and place I summoned the hottest fire from the depths of hell and cast it upon the gallows watching as it burst into flame. Tituba’s dangling body still kicking as it burned before the people of Salem’s very eyes. My name is Eulacard ET Ildylia, I am the Grandmaster Warlock of the Order of the Crimson Rose. I possessed the body of Tituba and caused her to be accused of being a witch. I exacted my revenge upon the Parris family, and I am the sole cause of the Salem Witch Trials.
Through fields of green past sky's of blue With passion and love dances the Muse Sharpness and Spirt guide her swift soul Even the man in the moon she will control With only a look she captures your heart Like paint on a canvas she emulates art She carries with her your deepest desire Your lust can not capture this flame O'the fire So let her run freely through your daily life She'll smold out the pain and banish the stife A luminary of Dreams and fantasy is she The Dancer that influences the tides of the sea.
“Hurry up and sit your ass down here baby doll!” I say to my current joy partner. I pat the spot on the mattress indicating for her to sit next to me and the small wooden drug box filled with miscellaneous paraphernalia. She jumps up on the mattress with a bag of chips and a couple of sodas. She is like an eager child awaiting the ice cream man to hand out his multi-colored rocket pops on a hot summer day. But the only treats that she's going to find with me will be the kind that make life easier to handle, the kind that take away all her inhibitions and release the bounds of reality on her small mind. I smile at her…like a lion smiling at the gazelle just before he sinks his teeth into her jugular. I take an expert hand and help her tie off the rubber band around her upper arm. I've already prepared the black drug. The needle slides easily into the egg white skin of her arm. She jerks ever so slightly. I soothe her to help her relax just a bit. The vein drinks it up like a man dying of thirst. The effect is almost instant. Her eyes roll back in her head and she languidly lies back onto the pillow I've placed behind. Before I partake of the magic medicine I watch her begin her journey. How innocent she seemed less than an hour prior to this. We were watching some late night B movie about some crazed beast that was terrorizing the sweet town folks. I wonder what her trip will be like. I envy her. This is her first time, and I hope it's as good for her as it was for me. My turn, I use my teeth like I have so many times before to tie the band off. I take one last look at my new partner before I accept the instant dream this syringe in my hand has to offer. I feel that familiar prick and the sudden ease of pain as I release the tightness around my arm. Just to help the lucidity along, I stare at one of the nearby candles that my partner has lit. I feel it coming on and lie back next to her. She feels my presence and cuddles up next to me in a pseudo fetal position. How strange, I look over into her face and it contorts. I close my eyes. It's just the drug playing tricks on me. I just need to relax. But something isn't right. I don't feel the same as usual. I open my eyes slowly afraid of what I'm about to see. She no longer has a face. My fears are confirmed; she no longer means anything to me. I need to get away. That's the fleeting thought I have just before I fall prey to the drug and pass out completely. What is happening, I can't seem to wake up. I feel the room closing in on me, no wait I'm not in the room any longer. I'm somewhere else, somewhere tight. I feel a sudden rush of heat and I realize that I'm alone. I can't open my eyes they seem to be stuck shut. It's getting worse. I feel a liquid form around me. My skin is ablaze with the torrid pain of a white-hot fire. My eyes sting with the acid wash that has crept past my eyelids. My minds eye sees nothing but red and orange starbursts of pain as my body begins to go numb. I must wake up from this hellish nightmare. My teeth clatter together like rocks being shaken up inside a jar. I rip away at the flesh on my stomach trying to get inside of my own body to tear at the pain from the inside out. My brittle fingernails bend back at painful angles and tear away from my fingers. The pit of my stomach churns and tries to wretch the last remnants of bile. I cannot die, because I am asleep. I cannot awaken the torment will not allow it. I feel my soul melting away into the abyss that is the final release. I hear a fiendish voice speak to me. “You are mine now, I have partook of your body and have swallowed you whole!” cods the voice into my mind. How could this happen? I've been down this path a million times, how could this one be any different? I must take myself another direction. Images of my childhood pass through my pain stricken mind. Happy memories of a time of pure innocence, a time when the days were filled with running bare foot through dew filled grassy fields. Playing army like any regular kid would. I try to build a wall between these memories and the pain that I'm feeling. If I could just lock these precious memories away in a mental panic room, I might be able to save them from the devouring mental prowess of this beast. I must not give in. I must fight on. How did this happen, how did I submit to this torture? My ears are punctured by the sound of my own screams, but that cannot be…for my lungs are filled with the fervid thick raunchiness that is the air of this hell. If only I could escape the pain. I reach out with my right arm and try to move forward. I can't tell if I'm upside down or right side up. I feel a spongy surface press against my face and chest as I pull myself along. The slime is acid eating my flesh, making me one with the bowels of this beast. I feel something biting at my feet. The teeth of this creature sink into the pulp of my flesh, chewing to the bone of my ankle. The same feet that I used as a child to carry me across the fields of green, are now being consumed by this demon. I try to open my mouth to scream again. But as I part my lips my mouth is filled with gore and blood choking the last of my breath from me. I can no longer bare the anguish of this place. I submit my body, spirit, and mind to the appetite of this beast. NO! I will not go easily. But how can I fight something that envelops me whole? If only I could see...wake up, wake up, WAKE UP, WAKE UP! My mind is screaming. There is a rumbling all around me. This must be it, the end is near. But then I feel something, something comforting. I feel fingers grab my arm. They are fingers of desperation. They need the same release that I crave. How did this creature find me? I reach out to it. It is feeling the same hell that I am. I paw at what I can only imagine used to be a face. I feel a jelly like substance where eyes used to be. I use the last of my strength to reach out with what's left of my soul and embrace this mass of flesh in my arms. I feel a strange coolness embrace me. The tendrils of my muscles reach out to this being and I feel us become one. We are lovers in the belly of the beast. I will not let this monster take us alone. If we are to be eaten, it will be together. Man, woman, or creature, at least it will die knowing that it has someone to share the anguish. I use what's left of my mouth to smile. Fuck You Hell Beast…your belly will not have the pleasure of the taste of my soul. Together we will release ourselves from this Hell. That is my last thought as I feel my lover plunge a clawed hand into my chest and rip out my heart. Now I know what this feels like. The paramedic shakes his head as he realizes that his patient is gone. “Okay, time of death 12:29 am Oct. 28th 2000. Let's wrap this one up,” says the man in the white jacket as he puts the defibrillators back into their portable case and turns away.

A poem "Dreams of Death"

dreams of sticks dreams of stones dreams of rivers flowing with bones A blackened heart with crimson galore burns down deep but beats no more wrapped in flesh stone cold soul struggles within and pays the toll sweet tasting life it yearns to touch Grim Reapers digits reach out to clutch lips of pain brush by cheeks immortals touch leaves bloodless streaks Lady of Death leaves her mark upon the brow in silent dark the icy touch crawls down our spine he's not our friend this father time no mercy bestowed no joyful moan no tears to drown this painful groan so let us go into eternal sleep the lives we've lived we shall reap
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