TRUST
is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is
the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion,
suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in
separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a
phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence.
She repeated, "PUB." There was still no answer. When she was going to
cut off the line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry,
I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it
is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple
if the telephone operator answered with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
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NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law,
"Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share
with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never
criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong.
Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could
not find a better husband than you."
We all look forward to being
loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a
person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the
finger at. This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we
point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at
ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our mistake
too.
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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the
government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a
spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your
requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous , sporty,
knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole
day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting
stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to
rest." The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need
television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found
between a blind wife and a deaf husband,
because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the
husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples
are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect
relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake
up a nd discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
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NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one
party tries to overpower another,
or demands too much. People in love tend to think that
love will conquer all and their spouses will change the bad habits after
marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which
carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river
than a person's character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having
high expectation on changing the spouse character will cause disappointment
and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and
lower our expectations..
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RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries
the meaning that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many
relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close
with each other, we
always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without
considering if it would hurt the other party.
A friend and her
millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a
helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in the secondary school." On
the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me.
Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You
should appreciate that you married me. Other wise, he will be the millionaire
and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for
a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.
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PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different
perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a
donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why
neither of them ride on the donkey? "Upon hearing that, the husband let the
wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and
commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on the
donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down
and let the husband ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they
met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but let
the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the
wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He commented,
"Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to
you." Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the
donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only
choice left. Later, on a nar row bridge, the donkey was frightened and
struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river. You can never
have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past,
not at present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be
too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..
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BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the
States. A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement,
his three-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of the
truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's
hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son
to the hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the
crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's
hands. When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he
innocently said, "Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when
are my fingers going to grow back?" The father went home & committed
suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your
feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u lose your patience with
someone u love. Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings
often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the difference between the person
and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the
actions we take while in a rage will haunt us forever.
"Good Life starts only when you stop wanting a better
One"
"Life is not measured by the
number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away
"
your's sanzeev
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