So I've realized I need to stop being so dumb. I've been through a lot of struggles in my life, and I'm so used to quitting and giving up when times get rough... The only thing I've ever been good at is school and sports, but I can't even make wise decisions anymore when it comes to my wellbeing. I moved down to TX for a reason, and I'm already giving up on it because I feel like it's my fault that I'm not there for my friends and family when they've always been there for me through my struggles. Am I selfish?? I feel so helpless when I'm down here. But at the same time if I go back-- what am I going back to? A life where it's hard as fuck to find a job, everythings expensive as hell, cold as a mother fucker, and everyones depressed. I love all the friends I have and have ever had to death, and I'll ALWAYS be there for them in spirit, or even if they call.. But it still pains me not to be there for a hug when they need me, or when I need them.
I know every place is different, and TX is A LOT different then Michigan. If I had all my friends and family down here I'd be fine. I need people that understand me. But nobody seems to get 'it' down here. I'm also tired of getting screwed over, but I also seem to think nobody cares about each other down here either.. It's such a different environment I come from where everyone cares about everyone and knows and trusts everyone.
However, I know I NEED to be down here in TX, so I'm going to tough it out for atleast another year or two atleast. Thanks to my friends for knocking some sense into me :). I love you all! But I know I'd be suffering a lot more if I went back. And after all I already applied for college and it'd be ashamed to waist anymore time on filling out application forms for next year. So to all the people I have met so far and will ever meet--> CHEERS! I love you and heres to the fun times ahead!
♥Jennie♥
RIP to all my family members, friends, and best friends that have ever died. I'll see you all heaven!
