Well, here i sit. The night before Thanksgiving. The eve of the holiday season and the time of miracles. This will be my 14th season like this..Alone. I know i have made bad decisions in the past and that i am paying for it. I have been heartbroken and i have broken a few hearts in my time as well. I know that tomorrow i'll spend yet another holiday alone because of both. I don't mind being single. I don't mind that the people in my life both past and present have other plans. I'd sure like to have a do-over with at least one person from my past. I also have hope that a special someone will be in my future. You see i know that this is a time of year for family. I just don't have one. I have a son thats almost 21. He has started his own family already. He is 10 hours away from me and we don't get to see each other as much as we'd like but we do talk alot on the phone. It's not the same but at least we try to stay close. I'm very proud of him.
I usually work on holidays now just because i don't want to bounce off the walls at home while other people are spending it with their families. I don't want to be invited to anyone's home for the holidays because this isn't a pity writing. Someone asked me once why no one loves me. Maybe because i know what love is and i haven't felt it from anyone in a long time. I see people going thru the motions but it has lacked sincerity.
Love is a gift. Its basically a keychain you get for your birthday. You see if the person giving you a keychain on your birthday is special enough then that keychain will be cared for like it came from Ft Knox. Love could be a Lexus. I could be a 10 bedroom house with servants. It doesn't matter because if the right person gives you all of them you'll treat them the exact same way. if its a keychain do you twirl it on your finger and let it fly across the room? you treat love and that keychain the exact same way. Love is carried with you everywhere just like a keychain. When you are sad you hold it close to your heart so you can feel the connection between you and the person that gave it to you. When you are freezing cold you can hold it next to you and stay warm like it was a blanket draped across you.
Love is a gift. Love is the ultimate gift. When you give it to someone you are saying that you trust them enough to hold this and cherish it. When you are not around its telling them you have faith in them to be the same person when you are not there that you are when you are there. A gift? No strings attached. No slight of hand. Unconditionally. You give the ultimate gift to someone. So! How do people in your life treat the keychains you give them? On holidays i'd rather be alone and not lonely then to have someone twirl my ultimate gift around their finger and never care where it lands. I want to wrap myself in their gift and for them to wrap themselves in mine. Together we form the greatest gift. Happy Holidays.
