A fishing trip with his older brother was the only happy memory Duane Roger Morrison recounted in a farewell letter in which he describes a difficult, abusive childhood.
His childhood was so crippling, he told five siblings in the rambling 14-page letter, that he was never able to function normally, and it was time to end his pain, a law enforcement official said Morrison wrote.
The letter said that as long as he lived, he would never forget the abuse at home and how petrified he was whenever his father approached him.
The Denver Post obtained previously unpublished details Saturday about the contents of the letter.
The letter, mailed from Shawnee, just outside of Bailey, was received by one of Morrison's brothers Thursday, the day after Morrison entered Platte Canyon High School, took six girls hostage, sexually assaulted them and ultimately killed Emily Keyes, 16, and himself.
Morrison gave no hint in the letter of what he planned to do at the high school, Park County Sheriff Fred Wegener said.
The letter stated that Morrison was in emotional pain because of treatment by his father, said Joe Gordon, the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives' assistant agent in charge of a five-state region that includes Colorado.
"He said his father was always screaming and yelling," he said. "That in no way justifies the horrific crime he committed."
Contacted by phone Saturday, Duane Morrison's father, Bobby Morrison, who lives in Tulsa, Okla., did not comment. A woman got on the phone and said: "This is private."
"It was a very sad letter," Gordon said. "At the end he makes it clear this is his final farewell.
"He wants (his family) to know his final moment will be painless and he will be at peace. He said, 'Don't you feel guilty for this. You're absolved from any responsibility."'
The letter said he loved all his brothers and sisters and apologized for what he was about to do, Gordon said. He thanked them for trying to help him over the years.
The letter only indicated that he would take his own life, he said.
Morrison mailed the letter Wednesday to one of his older brothers. Gordon did not know which brother.
Two ATF agents spoke with the brother for two hours Wednesday night, and the brother gave the letter to them unopened after he received it in the mail Thursday.
"He couldn't emotionally bear to read it," Gordon said.
The ATF turned the original letter over to Park County officials.
A team of ATF and FBI profilers at the National Center for the Analysis of Violent Crime in Quantico, Va., will study the letter for years to come, Gordon said.
The ATF has traced the two guns Morrison used in the school attack from the store where he bought them to the manufacturers, he said. They were purchased legally, he said.
While Morrison did not threaten the school in his letter, he clearly considered a grudge with a Littleton motorcycle shop to be unsettled.
"That jumped off the page at you," Gordon said. "He certainly still carried some significant ill will towards them."
On Nov. 22, 2004, Morrison left a profanity-laced phone message with Rocky Mountain Harley-Davidson after he received a promotional catalog in the mail, according to a tape of the call obtained from the Littleton Police Department.
"What do you think it will take to get this stopped?" he asked. "Uh, maybe, uh, maybe a visit with an assault rifle? "
Though he had pleaded guilty to harassment Aug. 15 and was given a suspended nine-day jail sentence, Morrison said in the letter that the matter wasn't over, Gordon said.
Morrison wasn't clear if he meant he intended to appeal the sentence or whether he planned to settle the matter by violent or other means, Gordon said.
