WELL...MOST EVERY THING HAS FALLEN APART THIS MONTH IM SUCH A FREAKING MESS...AS EVERY ONE KNOWS...IV BEEN HAVING PROBLEMS WITH SARAH....SHE WAS SUSPENDED FROM SCHOOL A FEW WEEKS AGO...IS IN THE OFFICE ALL THE TIME...AND GOT EXPELLED FROM SCHOOL FOR THE REST OF THE SCHOOL YR...SO ...I TOOK HER TO SOUTHWESTERN AND THEY FINALLY ADMITTED HER TO THE BEHAVER PLACE OUT THERE...I SPENT THE WHOLE DAMNED DAY OUT THERE ...IM TIRED....HOPEFULLY THIS HELPS....I SO DONT WANT HER TO TURN INTO A DRUG HEAD AND TURN OUT TO BE SOME CRAZY WACKED OUT PERSON....I CRIED WHEN I LEFT HER...SHE WAS CRYING..BUT I THINK THIS IS THE BEST THING FOR HER....
AND....IM SINGLE AGAIN...FOR ONCE IN MY LIFE I LISTENED TO MY GUT INSTINCT...AND JUST ASKED HIM WHAT WAS WRONG...WHAT IT BOILS DOWN TO IS IM JUST 2 BUSY...AND MY PERSONAL LIFE WAS GETTING IN THE WAY AND IT WAS MORE THAN HE COULD TAKE..SHIT ...I DONT BLAME HIM..ITS MORE THAN I CAN TAKE SOMETIMES...IM JUST VERY DISAPOINTED IN HIM...I THOUGHT HE WAS BETTER THAN THAT...DIFFERENT I GUESS...BUT..ONCE AGAIN..I WAS WRONG...AND TO BE HONEST..I WANTED TO CRY AT FIRST....I WAS HURT...THEN I GOT MAD...AND YOU KNOW WHAT ...I JUST DONT GIVE A SHIT...ITS HIS LOSS...NOTHING IN LIFE IS FAIR OR EVEN GOOD...IT IS WHAT IT IS....AND ITS FULL OF SHITTY DAYS...I MAY HAVE MORE THAN OTHERS...BUT HELL..WHO DOESNT HAVE A FEW MONTHS OF SHITTY NESS..
MY GRANDMOTHER WILL BE GONE A YR ON THE 25TH...I MISS HER LIKE CRAZY AND HAVE FOUND MY SELF CRYING OUT OF THE BLUE...MY AUNT WILL BE GONE A YR A WEEK AFTER THAT...THEN MY BIRTHDAY ON THE 6TH....EVERY THING HAPPENS FOR A REASON AND GOD WILL NEVER GIVE YOU MORE THAN YOU CAN HANDLE..BUT I WISH HE WOULDNT TRUST ME SO MUCH...
BOTH MY BROTHERS LIVE WITH ME...ONE IS MENTALLY HANDI CAPPED...ITS A MESS AROUND HERE SOME DAYS...ITS HECTIC ...AND I WANNA SCREAM...THERE ARE DR'S APT FOR HIM AND SARAH...AND SOME DAYS I JUST WANNA SAY TO HELL WITH THIS SHIT..THROW IN THE TOWELL AND TELL THE WORLD TO FUCK OFF..BUT IM THE STRONG ONE AND IF I FALL APART...WHAT HAPPENS....
ALL MY LIFE IV BEEN TOLD IM A STRONG WOMAN...YA I AM...I DONT NEED ANY ONE TO TAKE CARE OF ME....MEN LIKE STRONG WOMEN...BUT WOULD RATHER BE WITH A WEAK STUPID BITCH THAT THEY CAN PUSH AROUND..AND CHEAT ON HER WITH THE STRONG ONE....I JUST WISH EVERY ONE WOULD GET THEIR HEAD OUT OF THEIR ASSES AND GROW THE FUCK UP....THIS IS JUST SOMETHING MY FRIEND LISA AND I CAME UP WITH EARLIER TODAY....MAKES SENSE DOESNT IT
ANY WAYS..IM DONE RANTING....IM JUST GONNA HOLD MY HEAD UP AND KEEP BEING THE STRONG BITCH THAT I AM...AND IF SOME ONE DOESNT LIKE IT...YOU KNOW WHAT ...YOU CAN FUCK OFF AND WALK THE OTHER WAY...ID RATHER HEAR YOUR ASS TALK THAN YOUR MOUTH..IT PROBABLY MAKES MORE SENSE ANY WAYS....
