You're always gonna have problems lifting a body in one piece. Apparently the best thing to do is cut up a corpse into six pieces and pile it all together...And when you got your six pieces, you gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do you? They will go through bone like butter. You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".





Things that make me smile:



I have battle scars

And I carry a katana

Brownies--Dr.Pepper--

Buried treasure--My Island

--Spraying pepper spray--

--Pot Belly Piggies--

Wearing high heels when I exercise

Making shadow puppets on my wall

PENGUINS

Composing music and dancing in the rain

Catching Fireflies In A Bottle

-Sunflowers--Legos--The Claw Machine-

--Pc games--Ed my Computer--

and running till my chest explodes.




Things to do before I die:


1. Build a functional atom bomb entirely out of Legos.

2. Drop said atom bomb on Legoland.

3. Oh, and meet G. Gordon Liddy- I need a youth serum.