i feel lost in these thoughts that seem to conquer and rule my mind and you say nothing that could ever possibly snap me out of my dangerously vacant daze.
i am blind to devotion and life, and you do not guide me to the way that is safe for you and me, instead you lead me down the path towards my fatal death.
i fall into a pit of razors, but you don't throw me a chain to save my wretched being with no reason or purpose to live this fucking screwed life.
i tried to life for life of freedom, devotion and purity, and somehow you life for yourself of guilt, shame and disgrace.
i cry the tears taht you cry when your in misery, you don't even move your mouth because you don't feel a damn thing.
i fear loneliness, rejection, agony, yet, you only fear change.
when you dreamt dreams of satisfaction and hopes in the dark night, i watched over you to be sure you were safe and secure and you didn't do a damn thing in return for me.
when you screamed in emotional agony, i ran to you in tears, trying with my heart and soul, giving all my all to reassure you, and you didn't do a fucking thing to repay me.
and when you were wasted, i let you suck the life outo f me, i let you take advantage of me. i let you have me until you were pleased and you left me there on my knees, weak.
all this shit and a lot more is what i have fucking done for you.
all this and more, you haven't done a motherfucking thing to repay back the times i saved you.
what the fuck must i do for you to fucking see me?
what do i have to do for you to hear me?
i scream and sob in this maddening silence, and you can't fucking hear my yells for rescue.
i cry out to you, please, your hears have lost their useless senses to hear my pain.
i hold out a trembling hand, but you have no arms to hold me willingly through this damn cold night.
and i'm still hare waiting for you.
i'm still in this same spot where you left me all alone.
i'm still here on my knees crying these tears that fall from my eyes.
and still.
i scream in silence.
