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Ok first of all i speak of this subject from experience ..not out of ignorance.
Controlling love ....I see a lot of it on here ...
I believe that when u truly love someone you trust them with all of your heart. Without trust in a relationship you have nothing ! Telling someone who they can talk to ...who they can be friends with ..what they can n cant wear ..how they may speak are all signs of control. I think the deadliest for of control though are the lying n decieving lovers though that go behind ur back n tell your friends lies about you to get you to lose them so that in the end you end up with no one but them n u feel lost n all alone. Making somone into ur perfect person isnt going to make them happy and in the long run will ruin your relationship. I always said id never let anyone do this to me ...then i met the man ...the man i loved so much that i would do anything to make him happy even at the cost of my own happiness. He chose who i couldnt n couldnt be friends with ...made me change my # so i couldnt talk to old friends ...made me wear certain clothes to work ...i had to keep my hair a certainn length ..and if he didnt like the color id be punished by not getting an i love you from him for weeks ...he controlled how i spoke ..i wasnt allowed to swear or say certain things infront of him . I wasnt allowed to visit my mom and dad ...had to answer my phone on first ring or be cursed at for hours afterwards.When my cat of 19 yrs passed away i was told to grow the F* up and stop being a baby ! When my best friend passed away from lung cancer i was told to stop whining and be an adult . When i had to have emergency surgery i recieved no card no flowers ..nothing ...jst asked when i was gonna be able to have sex again. He told my friends i was allowed to keep that i was a bitch and a slut ...made them all not wanna be around me because of him. In th end after 2 yrs i had nobody left but my children ...and even though i am a true believer in suicide is a permanet solution to a temporary problem and i always said id never do that to my children ...i became so low and hurt so badly that i just couldnt do that life anymore and 4 months ago i took a whole bottle of pills and just laid down to die . God had different plans though ..made me sick and i survived the try and im so glad because i am better than that ....better than what he deserves. In these last 4 months i have come a long way in getting strong again ..my heart is still very torn n shattered but it heals a little more everyday with the friendships i have gained and the ones i lost well they werent worth it to begin with . A true friend is a friend that no matter what people say about you or think about you they say to them fuck off she or he is a great person ...they stand behind you 100% and catch you when u fall and help you when your down ! Ones that run were never true friends t begin with ! If they believe lies people spread then you dont need them ! My one true on & off line friend Zwally Zool ...he has been there thru ALL of this with me ...watched me fall ..picked me up ...held me when i needed it and never judged me ...those are the friends i smile for every single day ! Find one and never let them go !
