PunkStarChik's blog: "Book Of Shadows"

I had taken one of my cats, Tigger, to the vet today. For a while, he's been losing weight. I didn't think too much of it because he used to be a real big cat at 22 pounds. He's pretty stalky for his body and when he got down to 10 pounds, I got even more worried so I took him in. He also has been having some other symptoms of sleeping a lot, barely eating, throwing up sometimes and having a urination problem.

I didn't think that it was going to be something major. He's still a sweet and loving cat. Never showed any other problems or in pain, but today I found out what was wrong.

I told the doctor the problems he has been having and she insisted to take a blood test. So we got that done. She told me it looked like he had some type of cancer or something. I forget what she called it. It wasn't leukemia...it was something else. Something about his white blood cells not doing too well. It was either the red or white ones and that his body has been trying to fight what he has.

Then he got a x-ray...I started to ball in tears seeing that he had two large tumors. I had no idea.... :(

There's nothing they can do to really save him, unless I paid a bunch of money to help get rid of the tumor, getting some sort of surgery, but even that might not help and I can't afford over $500 for all that. All that I paid for today was almost $400.

The doctor said he probably has a few more weeks, maybe a couple months left to live or when I should put him down. She asked me if I wanted to put him down right there but I said no. He is still a happy boy, loving and all.....but if I notice more stuff, like him losing more weight, urinating more and a few other symptoms that the doctor said...that's when I have to put him down.

I have him on steroids right now that will help him with some stuff but with him having these large tumors, it's not going to completely save him. I'm not ready to put him down yet. I just can't yet...but if he's hurting, which the doctor said it doesn't look like he is, then I have to.

He is so young still..only about 8 years old. I've been all in tears today just knowing that I have to put him down. He's like my son.

I even mentioned this information to my ex, (husband), to let him know what's going on, so we had a visit. I wasn't going to not let him know because he still loved Tigger. He was in tears as well and wants me to know when the day comes when I have to put him down. I think he wants to be there.

I just can't believe all this. I don't want to lose my baby. :(