The last few months have been really rough on me. I hate where I live, and the Person that I'm living with, & really not by choice, but for the simple fact I have no where else to go. I do everything around here that I would rather be doing the person that I'm actually In Love with.
You would figure that the longer that I'm away from My Love the less I would Love him, but that's not the case. If anything I Love him even more. I miss the Touch of his hand on my skin, the feel of his Lips on mine, I miss looking into his Eyes & getting lost for hours. I miss being able to breath. What gets me the most is my 3 year old son. He misses his Daddy so much. Everyday when he has one of his play phone he talks to him all day. Every night when he goes to bed he swispers in my ear I Love Daddy. Now tell me that's not Heartbreaking. How do you tell a 3 year that he can't have the Daddy that he wants, because the Father that he has wants to be totally selfish, & only think about his Happiness??
I Honestly can't stand My Children's Father. His Touch makes my skin crawl, the Sound of his Voice makes me Deaf. I look into his Eyes, & all I see is a World that will either Drive me to the Nut House, or Kill Me. I try to escape, but then again he holds My Kids against. I mean yeah he works so that I can stay home, & take care of the kids, but I could do that with the Man I Love. He pays the Bills, & plays Spades all the time. It's not like we actually do anything as a Couple anymore anyway.
The Things I do for the man I don't want, that I could be doing for the Man I Love. It's all in a Days Work.
Mow, Weed Eat, & Rake the Yard
Feed the Dogs Inside & Outside
Take Out all the Trash
Clean the Bathroom
Clean the Kitchen
Clean the Bedrooms
Clean the Living Room
Cook all Meals
Give all Baths
Wash & Fold All Clothes
Dust everything all over the House *( I live in the Country on a dirt Road )
Fix All Plates & Serve Dinner
Do all the Shopping
Make all Phones Calls that are needed to be Made
Deal with the Ex-wife for Visitation with My Kids Brother
Handle the Phones for the other 2 Sons that have been in a lot of Trouble Recently
Hand Out all Medications *( If I didn't then it would NEVER be Taken )
The one thing that I do know is that with the Man I'm in Love I would actually get some Help from him. I have learned one of the Most Important Lesson when it comes to Love & Realtionship. If it's 50 50 it ain't going to work. A one sided relationship is total Hell. Especially when there's Kids Involved.
