Over 16,529,898 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
| Day 1 I held the scythe in bony hands. Today's the day I don the gown. I swing it once, a ghoulish sound. I swing it twice they all fall down. For my first soul, a ghoulish trap, To chop off his head with a falling axe That slips from the hand of a sleeping guard, Dropped off the castle wall but missed by yards! His heart stopped from the shock - he died from fear... ...Though his death wasn't scheduled for 20 more years. He asked 'Hath thou no brain?!?' 'Err...Sorry Sir, it's my first day'. Day 12 Lucifer came by today, With a devil skin rug to decor the place. He offered me a vile of 'plague', And a butler he'd stole from an open grave. We went with demons to the 'Valley of Dead', And played football with a shrunken head. We danced on skulls, drank to the end. I have a feeling we'll be good friends. Day 173 In hell we played a game of chess, Beat Lucifer at every guess. He burst into flames with a fit of rage, And threatened to flood the world in rain. 'Sorry Lu, God beat there.' Noah's Ark drifts by - we stare - At monkeys mocking the zebra's zips, While the wicked lions lick their lips. A puzzled look, to me Lu gave... 'Hmm.' He said. 'Another game?' Day 574 Angels and demons soar through the sky, Whilst I sit and 'sigh', on the sidelines. Lu picked a fight with God again. Every time it ends the same. Lu screams obscenity about his dark strength, Whilst God groans 'Oh Shut it, you glorified Elf!' 'What?!? Get down here and say that Again!!!' 'Your going to regret that!' And Then... Lu sends his army to Gods pearly gates, Cackling with a psychotic look on his face. God shoots them down with gold thunderbolts. Lu mutters 'I'll get you next time, you...!' Day 1365 Today's the day I unleashed the plague! Cackling wildly, engulfed in flames, I litter the ground with sickness and graves. Oh what a sight, a momentous day! ...Till Gabriel came to save the town, With a choir of angels to sing him down, And 12 seraphim guards at his defence. He prides himself on his grand entrance. 'Stop this right now!' He squawks. 'I don't take orders from Men in skirts!' I swore, and shook my fist at them. 'If you want to stop this, do it yourself!' So he did. Son of a... Day 2006 He laughs and I growl 'Oh, Shut you Fool!' Ladies and Gentlemen - introducing Raul. I can cut him in half but still he'll stand. I've been trying to kill him since life began. A bureaucratic cock-up of heaven, Has kept him alive till 1007! He cannot die, He cannot age. Believe me, I've killed him in many ways. Crushed him with a giant boulder. Fried him with an electric toaster. Another day, Another grave. Kind of wished I'd saved the plague. |
