Why do we press harder on a
remote control when we know the
batteries are getting dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on
"insufficient funds" when they know
there is not enough money?
Why does someone
believe you when you say there
are four billion stars, but check
when you say the paint is wet?
Why do they use sterilized needles
for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets
with his chest, but ducks
when you throw a revolver at him?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Whose idea was it to put an "S" in
the word "lisp"?
If people evolved from
apes,
why are there still apes?
Why is it that no matter what
color bubble bath you use the bubbles
are always white?
Is there ever a day that
mattresses
are not on sale?
Why do people constantly return
to the refrigerator with hopes that
something new to eat
will have materialized?
Why do people keep running over a
string a dozen times with their
vacuum cleaner, then reach down,
pick it up, examine it,
then put it down to give the vacuum
one more chance?
Why is it that no plastic bag will
open from the end on your first try?
How do those dead bugs get into
those enclosed light fixtures?
When we are in the supermarket and
someone rams our ankle with a shopping
cart then apologizes for doing so,
why do we say, "It's all right?"
Well, it isn't all right, so why don't we say,
"That really hurt,
why don't you watch
where you're going?"
Why is it that whenever you attempt
to catch something that's
falling off the table you always manage
to knock something else over?
In winter why do we try to keep the
house as warm as it was in summer
when we complained about the heat?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
And my FAVORITE......
The statistics on sanity is that one
out of every four persons are
suffering from some sort of
mental illness.
Think of your
three best friends -- if they're okay,
then it 's you.
****A day without a smile is like a
day without sunshine!****
WARNING: Randomness Inside!!!