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What are you waiting for?
My mind wonders a lot. I can have 29 tabs open, 5 are playing music that I can't find where it's coming from, & I am researching and reading about topics that interest me. Every once in awhile, I get a quiet mind. One that ponders on one subject. This one is about basically courtship in love. You know...when you are trying to win over someone you are head over heels with and you will do anything to gain their attention to make them yours.
What I've noticed especially in my own situation, is that what was done in the beginning slowly dies down once you are "together". Have you noticed that? You may have sent cute little messages every day, but once you are together they becaome few and far between to eventually non-existant. The twice a day become once a day to a peck on the cheek to nothing at all. The hugs were a plenty, then a few, then one, then none. The communication was enticing and excited, then got rare when talking would happen. Then they would be playing on their phone, watching youtube or tv, playing video games with their friends, or just sleeping than spending even 15 minutes with you.
When you bring this up to your partner, how things have changed in the relationship, you may get a few responses. One I always got was they know, they will fix their behavior because they still love and care for you. So they either make an effort and it dies again or don't at all. You live like room mates if you are living together or just as friends.
The truth of the matter is you were either on the adrenaline of the chase to gain their love or the love you thought you wanted is no more. If it is the adrenaline, then you have crashed and the rush of the chase is over. There is no love here anymore.
So why hold on? Why try to work on something you know and they know is just dead when no effort is put into it?
That just means its time to go your separate ways. Which we have in a sense till I can get my stuff in order to move out. We live like room mates. Plus what makes my situation hard is we have a 3 year old son. Our son though always wants me. Always.
Personally this situation has happend too much to count and I am tired, but I know the red flags better even if it took me too damn long.
So if you are in a relationship with someone, you really do love them, try doing the things that you were doing as the chase. Help spark that love again if you can. If not, then maybe it is time to close that door. Don't let someone you love or once love life a forever life with no forever love while you search for "excitement". Tell them the truth so you both can heal and move forward in separate directions.
