Swing Shift GinJaElla's blog: "Random"

So, I just answered a phone call from a *restricted* number. I only did this as a friend of mine sometimes calls me from a NAS, those #'s always show restricted. Not this time. This time it was a lady, mmm hmm. She asked who I was and explained that someone had called her "friend" from my # last night, and he wanted to know who it was. I call BS. Few of you have my #, but one of you should know that someone is soooooo checking upon on you! See, my battery was dead last night...

 

"I know that, somebody's lieing...." 

 

Check yo'self!

Ponderances upon the art of...

 

Something made of nothing, tasting very sweet, A most delicious compound, with ingredients complete; But if as on occasion the heart and mind are sour, It has no great signifigance, it loses half its power.

 

Kisses kept are wasted; love is to be tasted.

 

The kiss you take is paid by that you give: the joy is mutual, and I'm still in debt.

 

Kisses: words which cannot be written.

 

I wasn't kissing her, I was whispering in her mouth.

 

A kiss can be a comma, a question mark, or an exclamation point.

 

The sound of a kiss is much softer than that of a cannon- but its echo lasts a great deal longer.

 

You may conquer with a sword, but you are conquered by a kiss.

 

Few men know how to kiss well, fortunately I've always had time to teach them.

 

A legal kiss is never as good as a stolen one.

 

Kisses honeyed by oblivion.

 

*show me show me show me how you do that trick...*

Build a wall of books between us in our bed
repeat, repeat the words i know we both said
relax into the need we get so confortable
remember when i was so strange and likeable

i just want back in your head
i just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray

When I jerk away from holding hands with you
I know these habits hurt important parts of you
remember when how sweet and unexplainable
nothing like this person unloveable

*did you write this?*

 

A brief communication from the nether reaches of ex~dom, one of those small and forgotten holds that is rarely heard from. So... it grabs the attention. Toys with heart strings left dangling, ones that perhaps should have been burned to nubs long ago. All in a passing moment, this shudder goes through ending in the stark realization that a well chosen gathering of syllables can still hold power over you.

 

Here's the true point of note. I COULD have written that. Every word, and meant it. Eerie how aptly those words put together in that way embody me. I recognized it, he recognized it. It isn't necessarily complimentary, is it? Still. Even the ugly must be recognized and brought forth to light (this is rhetorical and should never be the logic one uses late night, in bars). Done. The next thing to be recognized is that I have someone out there that knows me so very well, I know a bit about him, too. I know that he crept back and deleted those lyrics late last night. I know the mood he was in. I can't tell him, but I can tell you. I know and comprehend the million things that mean that we will never, ever, ever be together again.  Still, knowing and holding the reality of someone so close, for so long...

"I hear you, SB. In the darkest of night, I still love you, too."

She's sitting there, staring out into the space where millions meet. Eyes wandering listlessly over the actions and words of people without faces, sentiments without meaning. Sitting there, quiet and still while her mind races miles ahead.

He says Hello.

Her mind and heart stop. She raises one shaking finger to her lips as the other hand reaches to tremble above the keys. Uncertainty freezes her eloquence as she glances at the clock and plots her response. Three minutes have gone past. There has been no movement save the worried nibbling on her fingertips as she looks out vacantly and ponders. Nothing should be said, his offhand words left orphans in the white space of the warm screen. No acknowledgement necessary. It comes to nothing, it means nothing and it's going through her mind even as her naieve heart composes phrases in the still air surrounding her.

She begins to type. Per tradition, she says nothing that she means, says nothing at all. Mere tokens of hello and banter that keep this tenuous, strumming interaction alive. Bandies the ideas as though all is light and carefree. As though she isn't breathlessly pleading on the inside.

"I don't know how to tell you, I know I can't convince you. Something in me senses something so lost and empty within you. A dangerous chasm that I cannot fill but that yet creates a mirror aching within me for reasons unknown. If only I could shut down the parts of you that try and strive, the bits of you that think that nerve endings are the key to life then maybe I could hold something true and real that usually hides and whisper to it the wonder of what you are. The boy with something to prove, proved everything in his first smile. Would be a king in my eyes with nothing but that smile, and that mind. Careful how you toy with me for I seem fierce but wound quite easily. I've no wish to hurt, trap or hinder that spirit that yearns so desperately to be courageous and free. I just want to show you how that clever energy inside awoke something in me that had long been asleep."

Another cunning phrase clicked into the existence of their dying repartee. She pushes the keyboard aside, sighs, scrubs her hands across her eyes and groans, "enough." Stands and walks to the mirror, preparing to commence another disguise. She's never the same girl twice. Everything changes, every single day, with every word that is spoken or written. The trouble is not in his words,his silences or even the effect they create in her mind. No matter, it has been called and become truth that this girl fell smitten.

The trouble is, the problem has become, the simple ability to tell truth from fiction.

 

(can you?)

RULE 1: You opened this; you GOTTA take it

RULE 2: You are NOT ALLOWED to explain ANYTHING unless someone messages you and asks!


LAST PERSON YOU....


[1] Who was the last person you texted?

Mikey

[2] You were in the car with?

Asian

[3] Went to the mall with?
Meathead


[4] Person you talked on the phone with?
Taxi man


[5] You messaged/​commented on Fubar?
Robocop! lol

T/F Only answer with True or False

Q:Kissed some one on your top friends?
True

Q: Been searched By Cops?
true


Q: Been suspended from school?
True


Q: Sat on a roof top?
True


Q: Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on?
True


Q: Broken a bone?
true

Q: Have shaved your head?
False


Q: Played a prank on someone?
True


Q: Had/have a gym membership?
True


Q: Shot a gun?
False


Q: Donated Blood?
False


WOULD YOU RATHER:

[1] Eat or drink?
Drink


[2] Be serious or be funny?
Funny


[3] Go to the beach or mountains?
Beach


[4] Die in a fire or die getting shot?
I'm going down in a hail of gunfire!


ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

[1] Sun or moon?
Moon

[2] Winter or fall?
Fall


[3] Left or right?
Left

[4] Black and white or colored?
Colored

[5] Do you wanna get married?
Er...


IN THE LAST WEEK HAVE YOU:

[1] Kissed someone?
No

[2] Been hugged by someone?
Yes


[3] Been poked by someone?
No

[4] Cried?
No

[5] Gotten in a fight?
No


[6] Told someone you loved them?
Yes

I posted a blog... elsewhere, today. Which prompted the following response from one of my fiercely intelligent, and amusing pals. Enjoy. I laughed til pain at this one...

 

way to bring the room down. i was just bouncing along having a grand ol' time and then BAM! you gotta go throw reality into the mix. for the sake of future endeavours, allow me to bestow upon you a tidbit of info that has never failed as it is a universality. and i have never, i mean NEVER been wrong when it comes to the male species and their interactions with the opposite sex. no matter how great he seems, no matter how sensitive he comes off, no matter how naturally he seems to cuddle or that adorable kick he does when he's chasing something in his sleep, you must always remember the male mantra. *ahem* repeat after me:

pussypussypussy, gotta get the pussy. pussypussypussy, gotta get the pussy.

it runs on a continuous loop 24/7. even the best of us, it's there. this is why gay men so often looked confused because they hear it and they're like "but i don't." it's just hardwired into the brain. it can be dealt with, but it's the ultimate default. this is why we suck. but this is also why we're so simple. don't give us more credit than we deserve. seriously. big dumb animals.

"what do you think he's thinking?" "do you think he's just playing games?"

no. we're not bright enough for games. it just appears that way to you because you're smarter than us and automatically expect to have a level playing field. we just want a field to play in. levels matter not. it's just pussypussypussy, gotta get the pussy. it's sad, but blame evolution. we're good at killing bugs and sometimes opening doors. we're good at flatulence. we're good at drooling. but we exceed at mating. it's just what we do.

mea culpa for dispelling any myths or hopes. good ones are around who can block out the voices long enough to be endearing and by then you've fallen for it and everyone's happy. but the good ones are few and far between. the rest are still jazzed about the discovery they made at age 2 or 3 that they had genitalia. not much progress beyond that point.

*kudos to *J* for this brilliance*

It's been on my mind. Come up in random conversations. Okay, I have even indulged in a bit of ranting, much to the amusement of the large handsome fella that hangs out with what's his name. For want of a better description of the general subject matter, we shall deem it "Common Sense". Especially as it pertains to men and women! Quite a bit of it to do with some of the interaction we indulge in here, or on the internet, in general. Some points... Do you like any of my photos? Hmm, I picked the good ones, you know! Now, mine are honest, not all are... (You folks know who you are, tsk tsk.) However, I do not deny the fact that I only post the ones that I find somewhat nice. Otherwise, why? Copious compliments are lovely, but they only swell my head so far as we have NO idea how you would react to the living, speaking flesh. Don't argue this with me, it's pointless. We just on'tt know, and likely never shall! On that sort of thought path, are we really as naieve a nation as we seem? (I could believe that we are firmly determined to create rich worlds of imagination, but we kind of know better, hmm?) How many times have you clicked upon the photo of someone that is not just cute, but knuckle biting atomic hot? There are all sorts of lovely photos, many pleasingly exposed. Ah. These enticing creatures seem constantly online. Amazing! Friday night, Saturday night, Wednesday afternoon! Surely some steamy secretary sneaking in hot chat with you as she toils at her desk, dreaming of the moment she can get free for a naughty little tryst. If that weren't the case, then we would be left imagining how exactly these sirens seem to escape the sort of teeming social life beautiful people always seem to have. Perhaps they are shy. I am not doubting thier identities, just pondering their obvious contradictions. Then, some of them just have something to sell... There is trolling for random encounters, and I just don't understand! Granted, being a female, it is astonishingly easy for me to wander out and find any sort of tawdry situation I may desire. Which,by the way, is exactly what I would do if that's what were on my mind! Why do I need to spend hours chatting you up, *getting to know* you, just to have it cumulate in a sweaty little session of getting your knickers off? Isn't that why we have bars and discos? Real ones, my friends. I would never suggest you'll meet the love of your life in an alcohol induced haze, since that isn't what is being sought, never mind that! The same sort of girl/guy that will slaver for your erotic attentions here, will most likely do so under the influence of just a bit to drink at the pub. Go later, everyone will be quite buzzed and the lights low. Good luck, and know that that steaming little morsel you left hanging on chat will STILL be there when you get back! This one goes a bit off the realm of mere electronic idiocy. For the love of Jiminy Cricket, the bloody game! Chase me, woo me, Ooooh! You almost got me! I'm busy, you're gone, love to see ya but you know, I've got plans... Omfg, really? Reality. Everyone has a life out there, and if someone wants your company they will make room in their life to get it. We ALL know this, deep down where we admit to ourselves the ugly little truths of life. I'm not buying it, nor am I willing to sell something that I don't believe in. Pony up or bugger off, who has time for this! I know the ego is caught up in the pursuit, why not draw your accolades from the fact that someone genuinely likes you, and is not hesitant to show it? There is nobody out there who is either constantly available or constantly occupied. Every person that you meet has at least one other person interested at them, at any given point in time. Do yourself a favor, if you believe someone is giving you the old cat~n~mouse, blow off! When you win, if you win, you have just bagged yourself a self centered idiot. I do believe that gets most of the more pressing matters off of my chest. *shew* The really frustrating thing about writing about these annoyances is, the people that need to read this never will get around to it, will they? The swingers (which I left out because, please. Get thee to a club of some sort. I am tired of fighting that lecherous group away.) the players, the chasers... They are far too busy plotting and scheming. No time to read. Unless you title your missive "DO ME NOW!!!! PLEASE????" Hmm. *There's* an idea.

Here, with my coffee and thoughts as the fresh breeze blows in from the beautiful outdoors. I'm all up in my head today, caught in fanciful ideas and ponderings that lead nowhere. Last night I dreamt I was on a subway. Swaying in the screeching car, lights flickering in my eyes, sedate strangers seeing through me. The train emerged from the tunnel, glittering sunlight revealed to me the landscape of my hopes and desires. The paradise of my mind. Stared in awe as we sped past, ran for the doors as the train screamed to a halt, stepped out in the crisp salt air of a seaside town that had waited for me my entire life. Threw my head back, closed my eyes, breathed deep, and I was back in the tunnel. The seat hard beneath me, stale scent of machinery and determination all around me. Had I missed my stop? What am I doing sitting here... Or had I had a dream, embedded in a dream... So, I woke in a strange mental state. Fixed my coffee. Bathed, shaved. Booted up my Boortz. Checked messages from friends never met. The sun is out, I'm running for summer, and my mind circles the memory of your face like a cat would a particularly choice morsel of prey. I'm all up in my mind, keeping my thoughts company. Thinking about dreams. Sitting here quietly alone, far from lonely.