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random thoughts.

sitting here talking with my aunt. honestly i dont think she really understands me. shes upset that i met my boyfriend online. she wants me to try and meet someone in real life, but i just dont have that in me. i dont have that kind of courage, to be rejected face-to-face. i cant be who i really am in real life, ive worn the masks for far to long. its only online that i can truly be me. even with my aunt, i wear a mask, keep things hidden. most of the time, i hate myself. for being overweight, for being shy, for having the problems i have. but online, none of that matters. 
i dont know if anyone reads these, probally not. but i needed to let this all out. 

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