Over 16,537,054 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.
Some kids piss their name in the snow. Chuck Norris can piss his name into concrete.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris once won a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.
Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.
Chuck Norris can make a snow angel in a brick wall.
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Chuck Norris is the only person on the planet that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris eats the core of an apple first.
Chuck Norris once punched a man in the soul.
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.
Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris' hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.
Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
Guns don't kill people. Chuck Norris kills People.
Chuck Norris' favourite cut of meat is the roundhouse.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.
Most boots are made for walkin'. Chuck Norris' boots ain't that merciful.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
When chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
Chuck Norris can taste lies.
Chuck Norris' first job was as a paperboy. There were no survivors.
If you work in an office with Chuck Norris, don't ask him for his three-hole-punch.
When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.
Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant. The steak did what it was told.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until he exploded.
Chuck Norris is his own line at the DMV.
Chuck Norris has never won an Academy Award for acting... because he's not acting.
After taking a steroids test doctors informed Chuck Norris that he had tested positive. He laughed upon receiving this information, and said "Of course my urine tested positive, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris once rode a nine foot grizzly bear through an automatic car wash, instead of taking a shower.
Chuck Norris crossed the road. No one has ever dared question his motives.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. chuck Norris does all of his grocery shopping at Home Depot.
Occam's Razor says that the simplest answer tends to be the correct one. Norris' Razor involves a flick of the wrist and a Columbian Necktie.
Chuck Norris can get Blackjack with just one card.
Chuck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open.
There is no Control button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris let the dogs out.
Chuck Norris's body temperature is 98.6 degrees... Celsius.
Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris is ready to wake up, he tells the sun to get the above the horizon.
Chuck Norris puts the laughter in manslaughter.
Chuck Norris doesn't wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris is not only a noun, but a verb.
