the one and only jester's blog: "rambling"

when you live only for your dreams everyday is just a nightmare every day is just a cycle it seems a cycle of pain agony and despair when blood runs cold when thoughts of suicide plague your mind when pain is all you feel when you no longer believe in a god when you question your reason for life everything will be ok the dark skies shall turn to light the barren ground shall sprout with new life just look ahead and not behind and the pain will be out of sight and out of mind

whered ya go i miss you so seems like its been forever that youve been gone she said somedays i feel like shit somedays i wanna quit and just be normal for a bit i dont understand why you always have to be gone i get along but the trips feel so long and i find myself tryin to stay by the phone cuz your voice always helps me when i feel so alone but i feel like an idiot workin my day around the call but when i pick up i dont have much to say so i want you to know its a little fucked up that im stuck here waitin at times debatin tellin you ive had it with you and your career me and the rest of the family here singin whered you go i miss you so seems like its been forever that youve been gone whered you go i miss you so seems like its been forever that youve been gone please come back home you know the place where you used live used to bbqin burgers and ribs used to have a little party every halloween with candy by the pile but now u only stop by every once in a while shit i find myself just fillin my time with anything to keep the thought of you from my mind im doin fine and i plan to keep it that way you can call me if you find you have somethin to say and ill tell you i want you to know its a little fucked up that im stuck here waitin at times debatin me and the rest of the family here -fort minor- -whered you go- reminds me of my mom i get a card once a year with no return address and if im lucky a call from a private number she left four years ago i turned 18 she wasnt there i graduated she wasnt there i went to my first prom she wasnt there

well my first blog seems like a good time to write it im not in a great mood im lonely and shit so yeah i need to get completely shit faced wasted so i guess ill go do that now