Overdue felicitations mon cher ami and how are tou this tres dull and chilly jour. Moi hopes tou has had a bella jour filled with amour and laughter as well as leisure and pleasure. Moi has had uno tres tedious, damp and cold jour. Non much to report but oh, Moi is having one of those wet jours when everything Moi touches ends up all over Moi. To make matters worse it is drizzling and Moi is fed up with the gloom and having to light the lamps to see in the cave. Tut, Pah, it gets on mon candle.
Where was Moi, oh the aqua splashes, Oui, first there is the stupid milk bottle, non tou really do non wish to know circa that as tou will think Moi is pulling votre member. Well the bottle brush was une tight fit as Moi plunged it sur the top and guess what occurred when Moi tried to retrieve it. Oui, Moi was totally splattered as was the work top and the window. Tut, Pah. Oh, mon cher ami Moi had a root through the fridge and found una tres old can of ale. It was rusty so Moi decidee to empty it out into the sink. That was the plan but unfortunately all good plans etc. Well Moi ended up with beer face mask, beer shampoo and beer overall. That was just another incident with fluids and the next one was avec la shower curtain. Oui tou guessed, Moi was scrubbing it sur la grande douch basin and then spraying it down avec the mixer tap shower head. Well it is fiddly and strong jetted and Moi has sausage fingers as tou know so the shower head slipped, Moi got drenched and then of course Moi had to hang it back up again. It is one of those thingies avec aqua that it always manages to attack Moi. Well Moi gave up the will to do anymore cave toiling and so then Moi decided to ablute mon unruly cheval, non that is surely cheveau. Mind tou une cheval would be less unruly sur mon tete. Non to worry.
Oh mon cher ami we are ales vous enting tonight to the Quiz Nite but non Indian this temp and Hushandito is cooking poison et pomme fritz. This is non mon favourite meal but he amours his pomme fritz so what can Moi do. Oui, Moi knows, of course he could fetch some from the shop but they ruin the ozone of the cave even worse that when he cooks them. Pour some reason the poison from the shop is non fresh and the cave smells worse than when Moi has cooked fresh poison. Stop moaning Wendy. Oui, Moi had better ales vous ent and get the decks cleared pour Husbandito Numero Unos cooking action. At least there is une escape to look forward to and the only downer there is mon grumpy amigo but we have non heard from her so maybe she is on holiday and who can blame her. So mon cher ami Moi hopes the rest of votre jour is filled with as much amour, laughter and sol as tou deserve. Take care and God bless
