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The Fox's blog: "Internal Chaos"

created on 10/10/2008  |  http://fubar.com/internal-chaos/b251478

POST 2

My world has gone from brilliant to crushed. My mind keeps spinning thoughts in such a rush. The happiness I thought was forever is gone. Now I am wondering what went wrong. I see my own turmoil every time I look at my eyes. And there’s no describing the pain I feel inside. A heart that had finally felt truly alive, Is now shattered and broken completely inside. It’s hard to find a solution to the thoughts in my mind, I keep wondering if it be easier if I just met my demise? The world around me is no longer bright and safe. I want nothing more than to leave this place. For me The thought of happiness has been killed. I doubt if my life is worth a one dollar bill. True love will never find its way to me. Only loneliness and pain are my destiny. Chaos has my world turned upside down. Now my smile feels like a permanent frown. I don’t feel worthy of love anymore and don’t know why. I guess the gods forgot that I too needed to feel alive. My faith in love has vanished from my soul. Without the man I love, I’ll never be whole. There is only one thought I have in my head. That is “IF I’M NOT MEANT TO BE HAPPY, THEN WHY AM I NOT DEAD?”
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