JennaJae's blog: "Poetry"

I found this with a letter i wrote a few years ago, i want to delete the letter, but not the poem. Here you go

A chill seeps into my heart

It’s freezing over again.

There is no restart,

Hell, we never began.

 

It hurt to know that you

Will not fight for me.

But what can I do

To make you see?

 

We could have the dream

Of what everyone speaks.

But you make it seem

Too far out of reach.

 

I have seen ultimate bliss

And yet we can’t have it.

Remember you chose this

So this is what you get.

 

I’m not the kind of girl

Who doles out ultimatums

And this is not my world

God, you can be so dumb.

 

I will not fight for us anymore

Because you will not fight for me

I have to show you the door

Because you’ve shown we cannot be.

 

I will never regret us in any way

What we did we did in love

But now that’s going away.

No more “what if”, nor “should of”.

 

I am done with this situation

I will not be that woman.

Maybe it was just infatuation,

Cloud nine is gone, its time to land.

 

1. Are we friends? 2. Do you have a crush on me? 3. Would you kiss me? 4. ...with tongue? 5. Would you enjoy it? 6. Would you ever ask me out? 7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater? 9. Would you take care of me when I'm sick? 10. Do you want to tell me something that you couldn't before? 11.Would you walk on the beach with me? 12. If you heard a rumor about me, would you defend me? 13. Do you/have you talked about me? 14. Do you think I'm a good person? 15. Would u take a nap with me? 16.Do you think I'm cute? 17. If you could change anything about me -would you? 18.Would you dance with me? 19.Would you come over for no reason just to hang out? What Do You Think Of My? 1.Personality: 2.Eyes: 3.Face: 4.Hair: W0ULD Y0U... give me your number?_______________ kiss me? let me kiss you? watch a movie with me? take me out to dinner? drive me somewhere? hug me? buy me food? take me home to meet your family? would you let me sleep in your bed if i didn't have one? sit in the doctors office with me because I didn't want to go alone? re-post this for me to answer your questions? give me a piggyback ride? come pick me up at 3 am because my car ran out of gas in the middle of nowhere? AM i... ____odd but fun? ____cute? ____funny? ____ cool? ____interesting to talk to? ____ stunning? ____ the woman of your dreams?

It was just a beautiful lie Believing in you and I Especially when we both know It's well past time to let go. I know it's only cowardice That won't let me drop this But how can I find someone new After all we have been through? Beautiful as it has been dreaming, I'm sick of waking up screaming, I know you aren't coming back for me, Though if you would, we could be so happy. Could we ever make things right, By rectifying every past slight? Could I believe in us again, Or will something always be missing? I am clouded in doubt Searching for a way out. Fight for me, stand by my side Tell me it wasn't you who lied. I thought our bond could never be severed Guess I was wrong, as we can't be together. Even if you love me, you chose another, And I won't compete with your baby's mother. It makes me want to hide and cry I know how hard we once tried But I think you gave up on me Set me free, when you could not be. We both made promises and sacrificed Far too much to endure in this life. And in the end, what was it for? To end up wanting you more? I may never have the answers I desire, Especially if you are just a liar. But how can I believe that to be true When I know that I will always love you? Maybe I just want to believe Someone I love could never deceive That you tried as hard as I Though in the end, it's all a lie. I want so bad to believe in you To believe what we had was true But how can I believe When you had to up and leave? My tears will dry eventually And what you meant to me Will one day just fade away So I can find peace some day. Let me make one thing clear, I never cheated to be with you, dear. That was your choice completely It's no wonder that she hates me. Why couldn't you be just my friend? Why did all the innocence have to end? I was prepared to let you live your life Me, your friend, and her, your wife. You never should have mentioned her infidelities And given hope to the thought of you and me. You told me everything, hoping I would run? Told me of her betrayal to you and your son. You promised you would never tell me lies And what we had took us both by surprise. I believed in you, every word you said, But were you just toying with my head? I know that things are complicated for you But are you even trying to work things through? Or have you left me, as I once did you, Taking away everything I thought I knew. Eight years is a long time to grieve For someone who may not have loved me Then you came back and we had a chance To continue our (even now) unfinished dance. I know how things looks to people not you and I And many of my friends wish for your demise. But I believe things different from anyone's theory And debating with them, just makes me weary. The simple fact is I may still love you Only you and I know if it's true. We need one more day together To figure out if this is forever. Circumstance has taken you from me It's so much harder than you may believe To go on each day wondering if you're safe And if you are ever coming back to this place.

one dark and stormy night, i awoke froma dream with such an awful fright. i cried and screamed but you were nowhere in sight. the dream i awoke from... the dream that scared me so... my heart beat like a drum and i had never felt more alone. from my past, a ghost had come. i glanced again at the ghostly form, straight from my dream, it was my love. i told myself to remain in scorn, anticipation won out and i gave him a hug. he waited patiently to tell me of his journ. ha said he'd nearly died but it was my love that kept his alive i laid back and sighed, "is love always this divine?" then he asked me to be his bride. i told him no. i said i was too young. he irritably said "so?" "to love is to wed" i cried and had to let him know. "i love you" i replied those words i said made me cry, but, "we cannot wed". "i understand" he said "i love you too but in deep waters you do tread when you refuse me your life hangs by but a thread." i gasped again for then he held a knife it cut my shin and almost took my life i awoke then, knowing i'd paid for my sin.

to lead a simple life, this is my simple wish. that and to be happy without some cruel twist. my ammended simple wish. is it possible? or will you say, "go fish"?

The end is here The end is now. My love, I fear Is gone for thou. Don't blame me I tried so hard. You can't blame me My heart is charred. It's not my fault! I loved you too much. Beginning with a bad start, Ending with scars from your touch. I've heard all your excuses, You're evil at your core. I've suffered all your abuses, I'll suffer no more.

I've been robbed, Not of material possessions, I've been robbed, Of my childhood and innocence. I have no memories Only the facts. Did I climb trees? Or play with jacks? I can't remember if I had a favorite teddy bear, I can't remember when I learned to share. In ways I'm still a child. I'm not sure if I had friends, Or if I ever smiled, Where one memories begins or ends. Bits and pieces are all I have. Was my childhood happy? Was it all very sad? Are you sure that was me? We moved around but did I Make a sound? Did I cry? Did I ever stand a chance? When did I first talk? When did I first dance? When did I first walk? Will I ever have it back?

I don't want to have to die, but it may turn out that way. I do not want to cry, but I lost control yesterday. It's over, it's finally done, I no longer must fuss and fear the thought of carrying a gun. I've found control in every last tear.

My heart is breaking My soul is aching How can this be? I thought he loved me. I feel so shattered Broken and tattered Left here alone In our broken home. How could he leave me? Why can't we be happy? I want one more touch, Is that asking so much? He left me here Drowning in fear He left this place Leaving every trace. Will he ever look back? He didn't even pack! He just ran away And there he'll stay. I can't live this way So please, I pray Restore my love to me Or by faith, set me free.

It may not last beyond tonight But you have to know that this is right. My love for you is so sincere I wish and wish for you to be here Let me bring a light Into your dark, secluded life. Youll never regret loving me. Youll never regret having me. I am yours, and you are mine Realize this, its well past time.