John's blog: "poems"

The lonely old king 
 sat alone on his throne. 
No comany did he keep, 
He just wrote many poems. 
Now you see my poor king, 
He was madly in love. 
With the princess who shone 
Like the stars up above. 
And he wrote day and night 
Just to keep his thoughts sane 
Writing to himself that he'd ease all her pain. 
And he'd treat her real well 
And make her nice things. 
And she'd laugh in delight, 
At the flowers he'd bring 
And he swore to leave throne 
And kingdom aside 
And give to her then 
The world they abide 
So he left on his quest 
And did many great deeds 
And his sword flashed the sky 
And his blood stained the seeds 
But he did what he sought 
He conquered the earth 
And give it to her then 
With a smile of mirth 
For the good king was dying 
But he didn't seem sad 
For a look at her face 
one last time made him glad 
And he kissed her with love 
Overflowing his heart 
And she lurched back then 
As if struck by dart 
It was then that she knew 
That she did love him too 
And she cried to the gods 
To ask what to do 
But nobody answered 
And then she knew fear 
She wanted him there 
She wanted him near 
And she kissed him with love 
And his wounds they then healed 
And they sat down together 
Two alone in a field 
They were together forever 
And were never apart 
And he read her the poems 
That came from his heart 
And she told him stories 
And helped him to learn 
That inside her soul 
A fire this burned 
And it was for him only 
Such a beautiful scene 
And he was her king 
And she was his queen

With carefully placed ink stained fingertips he
flipped,page by page through his thoughts of her.
some held flowers, kept to remind him of the beauty
she brought into his life.
Others bearing napkins, register reciepts, anything he
could use to capture those moments, and there were
alot of them.
As the books end grew near the words turned dark,
black ink smudged languidly with salty tears.
He looked down, "for her" it said.
The last two words of her book.
A chapter in his, written in red.

If eyes are the windows of the soul, and i looked into a mirror, would i see you looking out propped aginst the sil waiting  for me to come home.

If silence had sound would the world know my love for you, even though i never had the nerve to tell you.

If i said i think about you all the time but mostly on rainy days,would you think that sad, or realize the combination of you and rain make me happy.

If you read these words and felt the same would i ever need to write again?

meeee

black and blue, hearts black and blue
now theres one, where once was two
all alone, this souls alone
a phone bereft of dial tone
an instrument without its strings
no world to hear the song it sings
black and blue heart left to die
kicked down the street and told goodbye
just pull the plug and let it lie
couldn't happen to a nicer guy

mee

dark whispers spoken through shuttered lips
the room duct tape silent by her wish
the scent of candles and sweat with smiles
and romance of a more sinister style
partners in play going further now
each watchful of thier private vow
oil rubbed flesh relieved of tensions
hidden likes brought to attention
they take it slow with some restraints
steel and leather no complaints
no distinct boundaries set
safetey words for when they're met
approval known through quiet sighs
no regrets or alibis
two dreamers living dreams this night
will wake and part at dawns first light
with memories kept tight within
of thier night of joyful sin

meeee

The rain fell.
Like brilliant shards of crystalline blue
darting from the heavens,
I stood among them, lost within the downpour.
I reached out to test its strength and it
pierced me, blades of an azure porcelain
and it worked its way inside me and entered
my heart
and then it new sadness, and it cried and it grew,
absorbing its tears into itself like i
had once before.
and it filled my heart forcing out
the sadness and resides there ever since.
so when i stand alone, lost within the downpour
or gaze aloft from sandy perch over a sea of
the most beautiful blue
maybe then youll understand my love

meeee......

TO WHOMEVER MAY READ THIS,
I WAS BORN WITH AN ABNORMAL HEART, ITS WAY TOO BIG,
IT KEEPS TO MANY THINGS INSIDE, AND HAS TROUBLE SAYING
HOW IT FEELS. DUE TO RECENT DEVELOPMENTS IN MY LIFE
THIS CONDITION HAS WORSTENED, FOR FEAR THAT I MAY LOSE 
IT FOREVER, I LEAVE THIS, ITS LIVING WILL, AS TESTOMONY 
TO THE IDEALS IT STOOD FOR THROUGH THE THIRTY YEARS IVE
KNOWN IT. I THINK THIS WOULD HAVE MADE IT HAPPY.

1) I WILL LOVE YOU AND CONTINUE TO DO SO UNTIL I DRAW MY 
LAST BREATH

2) I WILL PROTECT YOU FROM HARM AT THE COST OF MY OWN LIFE

3) I WILL LOVE YOU AS MY EQUAL AND PARTNER, I WAS RAISED
UPON THE NOTION OF ITS ME AND YOU VERSUS THE WORLD, I 
HOLD THIS ESPESIALLY CLOSE.

4) I WILL NEVER CHEAT ON OR BETRAY YOU AS HURTING YOU COULD
ONLY HURT ME AND I NEED TO LOVE ME TOO, I DONT DO THAT
ENOUGH.

5) I WILL SUPPORT YOU IN ALL YOU DO WITHIN REASON. I AM
A DREAMER, REASON IS A VERY BROAD TERM FOR ME.

6) I WILL TREAT YOU WITH RESPECT, EVERYONE SHOULD, BUT KNOW 
I EXPECT IT BACK IN RETURN.

7) I WILL BRING THE FULL FORCE OF MY WRATH UPON ANY WHOM SHALL
 HURT YOU, YOU ARE A PART OF ME, AN AFFRONT TO YOU IS ONE
TO ME, I WILL RESPOND ACCORDINGLY

8) I WILL WORK HARD TO TAKE CARE OF YOU AND WHAT IS OURS.
THE WORLD HAS CHANGED, I MAY NOT BE ABLE TO DO THIS ON MY OWN,
IF I NEED YOUR HELP I MAY NOT ASK FOR IT, I LEAVE THIS TO YOU.

9)I WILL NOT PRETEND IM PERFECT, NOR WILL I PRETEND YOU ARE
THOUGH I LIKE TO THINK YOU ARE BECAUSE IT MAKES ME HAPPY.
HUMANS ARE WHAT THEY ARE, WE MAKE MISTAKES I UNDERSTAND THAT.

10) I WILL BE HONEST WITH YOU. LYING IS THE BASE ALL BAD 
THINGS REST ON, SPEAK OPENLY AND TRUTHFULLY, IM A MAN, I
WILL LISTEN,I MAY NOT AGREE WITH ALL YOU SAY AND DO, IF
I WANTED A CLONE I WOULD HAVE DONE BETTER IN SCIENCE.
OUR DIFFERENCES MAKE US UNIQUE, THERE ARE BILLIONS OF 
STARS IN THE SKY I ONLY WANT ONE.

11) LASTLY, I WILL HOLD TRUE TO ALL THESE IDEALS FOR AS
LONG AS I LIVE. WHICH HOPEFULLY WILL END IN YOUR ARMS AS
WE SLEEP BESIDE PICTURES OF ALL THOSE WE LOVED IN THIS LIFE

THESE ARE THE WORDS MY HEART WISHED TO EXPRESS IN THE EVENT
THAT  IT BECOMES LOST OR UNABLE TO SAY AS RESULT OF ITS 
WEAKENED CONDITION. IT HOPES YOU UNDERSTAND THAT IT HAS
MUCH MORE IT WISHES TO CONVEY BUT THINKS THIS EENOUGH
FOR YOU TO COME TO KNOW IT. IN MEMORY OF MY HEART AS
RECORDED BY ME, JOHN KOCHANSKI. 11/24/08

while i lay asleep and dreaming
through moonlit window stars stood gleaming
like a smiling fairy scheaming
i saw you with our friends and more
we all had gathered, fun and drinking
with each step my heart was sinking
watching from the side and thinking
of just one kiss and nothing more
one kiss from her who i adore
the night went on, she looked so lovely
eyes like angels far above me
bright enough to guide this
worn and weathered soul to shore
and by chance we stood and spoke
and it seemed within that something woke
her smile fixed what i thought broke
she picked my heart up off the floor
i was there, i saw her tears,
from other guys throughout the years
ive read her words and written fears
but still stood quiet outside her door
had she noticed me before
ive been there eleven years or more
the time had come to say goodbye
to friends and fun, the sun drew nigh
and i hugged her tight, let out a sigh
and gentlemenly thought toward the door
but then i noticed no release
for our hug it seemed had not ceased
and she kissed me like ive never been before
her kiss stopped the world and for that moment
there was her and i and nothing more
it was if that in that moment
she understood all that i had felt before
all the feelings my heart bore
and that this one kiss was my reward
and then she walked me to the door
it was then i woke, the dream was done
a brand new day had just begun
and i longed to see the setting sun
to sleep again and dream some more
and return the kiss i got before.

me....