BigD's blog: "poems"

Standing here I look deep into your eyes The broken windows to your soul Theres nothing that i can see behind your eyes Except the buried torment and anguish Your smile is cold and uninviting What beneath your pale skin A dead heart still slowly beats Crying out to be embraced The cold stare of dead and unforgiving eyes Is a look into our sweet demise Within decay you rest In never ending pain and emptiness Do you wish for things to chance Do you really want more inside then this Broken, ludicrous, depressive life Do you truly hate whats always been within me And what I will always feel for you

The Skies are darkening Reflecting my mood My life seems useless Ill soon find if thats true A voice so soft, barely above a whisper Tells me I have nothing left to live for I know that the voice is wrong That hope for a better tomarrow is still there But I can't seem to find that hope Through the darkness which is my life And I can't help but think What if the voice is right? The knife at my side seems inviting I gently slide my fingures across it The feel of the cold smoth steel Is a very pleasant thing indeed Gliding the knife across the wall I leave a haunting message behind "Tonights the night to say your goodbyes The slumber in which I seek is now at hand And the laughter in which I endure daily Shall soon come to an end As this knife tears its way through my skin" With my message complete I know that I am done I then slide the silver, glimmering knife Across my wrists again and again My task complete, I let the knife fall And its fall seems somehow slowed to a crawl As I close my eyes and take my last breath As everything that I know turns towards the dark abyss And my lifes journey comes to an end

Deep on the inside There is a hole in my soul And I can feel its blackness spreading Like the emptiness inside The vacuum of a black hole It is ripping and tearing my soul to shreds Slowly eating away at my insides Soon there will be nothing left Nothing left of my humanity to salvage Once this dark abyss consumes me alive Im feeling weak now My whole body is sweating And Im shaking with the fear of losing Losing the one thing that makes me me My humanity, my very own soul that is within me This hole that is buried deep inside of me It keeps on growing without any end in sight And I dont know what it is that I can do To prevent this ominous black mass of a black hole type vacuum From eating me alive while I try to sleep or walk in the light of day My sight has fafed; its failed Along with my ability to hear and words or sounds that are around me Ive lost my sense of taste and of smell Ive lost all of my senses as I fall to the ground with a thud And I know ive lost this battle to the vacuum; this black hole within my soul There is nothiing left for me now I cant help but think while I still have the ability to That there was so much that I wanted to tell you That I loved you with all of my heart, my very soul yet, somehow, even in my last moments By some mirical or the grace of god I was able to say those three words Ive longed to tell you my whole life The words I know youll never hear me say but I say them anyways And with my last breath I say I love you As my mind and everything I know turns to the emptiness that is the black hole

Goody ludicrous world Im leaving you today And I dont know how long That Ill be away So I just gotta say Goodbye Goodbye all of you people The ones that never cared The goths, jocks and outcasts Soon Ill make you all sorry For ever treating me this way Once I am gone there is no taking it back So I just gotta say Goodbye

Everytime I look out of my window The skies seem to be getting darker And the scarecrows are losing their power The fear that the crows had once felt From the scarecrows is almost gone As their crimson tears fall to the ground In clotted pools of blood The worms do indeed bathe And lash out at the ones Who would try to eat them It is getting harder to tell now Just who is eating who For the countless bodies lie scattered across the land Of both birds and worms alike The clouds are not parting As fire rains down from above Smashing the cities into ashs And turning this world into A world of fire and brimstone There is not a soul left to see Not a soul left to give a helping hand Glowing red are his eyes He who laughs so sadistically His voice echos throughout the world For not an ear to hear He who is so proud of what he has done That in order for him to find true happiness He would kill everyone in sight And turn all that was once good and just in our world Into the dark abyss that it is today He is the one who cannot die The being of evil that cannot be seen He is the one that is buried Deep inside of me