please keep in mind that this was written back in 2002 when i had a Mistress that i was S/switching with and before i wrote my realization, which is also posted here.
as submissives it is our desire to please our Dominants to keep them happy. but is there not both give and take in a relationship? aren't the submissive's needs and desires just as important? to keep the relationship healthy, isn't it the Dominant's responsibility to keep their submissive happy as well? i have heard several of my submissive friends complain they aren't getting their needs and desires met and asking for advise on how to approach it with their Dominants. i would appreciate any answers or advice anyone can give me. i will willingly pass it on to those who can benifit from it.
i found the above question posted in the forum of a BDSM chat room. below, please find my responce.
as a true or natural S/switch (call this M/my coming out of the broom closet), I/i feel that it is the Dom/mes responsibility to recognize that Their submissive has needs and desires beyond just being pleasing to their Master or Mistress. a perfect example of this is those submissives that get off on being spanked. it turns them, to them it's a form of foreplay (for lack of a better word) and if done correctly will put them into sub space. (a place that every good submissive deserves to be taken) it is not seen as a punishment to them, yet some, who's Dom/mes' don't readaly recognize this in them act up to be "punished" so that they can get that spanking that they so desperately crave.
now being a S/switch i always strive to please my Mistress' every desire, as there is almost nothing on this planet that i wouldn't do to make Her happy, as it truly makes me happy when She finds me pleasing!
When I Dom her (Yes she is a S/switch also) I always try to determine what she needs from Me today, so that I can give it to her. Now this is not always an easy thing to do, as when she is being submissive, she is very submissive. I would like to think that I do a very good job of meeting her needs most days, but that is My job as her Dom!
I/i hope that M/my words have help some. I/i know that I/i'm not a very good writer and being that it is 2:20am as I/i write and M/my mind keeps wandering to M/my submissive as I/i love her so!
*jamie*/Master TRR
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~kissing your lips softly~
Very good My pet. thank you.
As usual i am having the same reaction to this subject, it always amazes me that a Dom would be concerned that his sub is being pleased as well since in my case i am most pleased when i know my Dom is getting everything i can possibly give Him, knowing that He is well pleased with me. [purple passion faery]
lil blue fae *jamie*
