I became involved in emergency service work because there is a need for people to help others who are in trouble. Sometimes there are calls I respond to, that are difficult to talk about even with the person you care about and trust most in the world.
Please accept that.
There are at times experiences I suffer which hurt me very deeply, and I might bring my suffering home. Sometimes my feelings bother me so much so that I can't even talk about them. Maybe it's because I don't want you to even imagine what I've suffered or maybe it's because I'm afraid you won't fully understand the depth of my feelings. During these times I'll become moody or irritable, and I may not SEEM to care much about your feelings or problems even though I DO CARE very much.
Please accept that.
You care for who and what I am about. I choose to do what I do because it is so important to me and to those I help, and although it's sometimes very difficult and maybe even dangerous, I love doing what I do, and I do it well. In short, I'm proud of what I am, and I hope that you are proud of me.
Please accept that.
There are times, though, when I feel that I didn't do enough - so many people out there depend on me; there are even times I get frustrated and even angry at my co-workers, myself and the victims of tragedy. There are times that the horrors I have to deal with just overwhelm me. That's when I have to sort things out by myself, or others who were there with me.
Please accept that.
So PLEASE, if I have a really bad call and just can't talk, it isn't because I don't care. It's not because I doubt that you care about me. I'm just not ready to open up. When this happens, don't try to understand - just accept the fact that I'm hurting - and that I'll talk to you when I can.
PLEASE ACCEPT THAT!
