On feeling less than whole
"He is a God"
"He has a huge cock...he's an amazing lover"
"He has the most kissable lips in the world"
"He is so beautiful"
"He is an amazing lover...left me juicy"
What does this all matter to me?
Why would it matter at all; even a little bit?
Why is it that I want to be "he?"
I'm feeling second best...maybe not even "second" just not "first." Why do I need to be first? I can be the most devoted...feel like I am the most devoted; but I get in my own way, and I let "feeling less than whole" take away my power..soon I'm less than zero. {pardon the cliche}
I want to let go... but I'm afraid -- don't trust I'll be caught. {I have my reasons -- I've been dropped before; it killed me once - literally}
Sometimes I yell -- yell at the world -- yell at you. I'm sorry, and its more than just regret. I've taken control of my inner energy; I've gained so much control -- still I'm feeling less than whole.
