I can't help but feel that my life is at a permanent mexican standoff. No matter what efforts I put into moving forward, I get dragged back to a previous behaviour. Why can't I just find one normal person out here? I just want one friend, one that doesn't obsess about poor dead Heath Ledger and his postmortem love child, one that doesn't think being drunk every second of every day is awesome, and most importantly, one that doesn't take out her frustrations on those around her. Is this so much to ask? I just want one friend, one that wants to drink occasionally but reserves it for weekends only, one that wants to watch democratic debates and subsequently talk about the candidates, one that has E news blocked from her television. I don't want to shop. I don't want to talk about Tom and Katie and their crazy religion. I don't care! Is that really so bad? Should I care? Should I actively read gossip magazines, and pray to the gods that Paris Hilton will get another seasonal show? It scares me that maybe I'm the weird one. Maybe all the other girls here are the normal girls, and I'm the anomaly. I don't want to be stuck in the high school dramatics state of mind for eternity. I'd rather a nice healthy shotgun to the face. I can't deal with the same old fighting, or the constant attacks. It's not about last words, rebuttals, or getting even. It's about acting your age, letting it go, and getting over it.
