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| | ok which one is funnier?? |
| created @ 03/19/2008 04:57 pm |
| mum expired. [FRIENDS] |
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Two old ladies are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. One of the old ladies pulls out a condom,cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.
Maude: What in the hell is that?
Mabel: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Maude: Where did you get it?
Mabel: You can get them at any drugstore.
The next day, Maude hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.
The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.
"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."
The pharmacist fainted
Black Panties.........
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still hasn't gotten
out of her mourning stage. Her daughter is constantly calling her
and urging her to get back into the world.
Finally, Sadie says she'd go out, but didn't know anyone. Her
daughter immediately replies, "Mama! I have someone for you to
meet."
Well, it was an immediate hit. They took to one another and after
dating six weeks, he asks her to join him for a weekend in the
Catskills.
Their first night there, she undresses, as he does. There she stood,
nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties, and he in his
birthday suit.
Looking at her he asks, "Why the black panties?"
She replies, "My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to
explore, but down there I am still in mourning."
He knows he's not getting lucky that night.
The following night, the same scenario. She's standing there with
the black panties on, and he is in his birthday suit, except that on
his erection he sports a black condom.
She looks at him and asks, "What's with this...a black condom?"
He replies, "I want to offer my deepest condolences."
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