chuck42005fuengaged to KELLY KELLS's blog: "NUTTERZ POEMS"

Thy soul shall find itself alone
      'Mid dark thoughts of the grey tomb-stone;
      Not one, of all the crowd, to pry
      Into thine hour of secrecy.

      Be silent in that solitude,
        Which is not loneliness- for then
      The spirits of the dead, who stood
        In life before thee, are again
      In death around thee, and their will
      Shall overshadow thee; be still.

      The night, though clear, shall frown,
      And the stars shall not look down
      From their high thrones in the Heaven
      With light like hope to mortals given,
      But their red orbs, without beam,
      To thy weariness shall seem
      As a burning and a fever
      Which would cling to thee for ever.

      Now are thoughts thou shalt not banish,
      Now are visions ne'er to vanish;
      From thy spirit shall they pass
      No more, like dew-drop from the grass.

      The breeze, the breath of God, is still,
      And the mist upon the hill
      Shadowy, shadowy, yet unbroken,
      Is a symbol and a token.
      How it hangs upon the trees,
      A mystery of mysteries!

I'm a walking suicide but you'd never know cause' I hide I got too much pride to show my depression I think about dying everyday but never say anything cause' people will stop me rob me from succeeding in my goal.
I fold my letter up saying how sorry I am for being a disappointment to my family and you'll be better without me.
You'd never think little baby boy would try something so bold didn't know that the mold you made him in turned it's grin and that hell really existed in his eyes and he cries for god to please just let me die and be free from the reality he's facing!! I'm a walking suicide

I walked through the local cemetery last night It was so quiet, everyone was at peace I felt so welcome, so at home there among the deceased I begun thinking, why do I continue on why do I inhale even one more breath when all I dream of is the eternal slumber that can only be brought about by death Grief and pain are the only inhabitants of a soul which would otherwise be an empty space Was it time for the end?This was the choice which I faced After all, everyday is merely a continuation of the one which preceded it There have ben times when I felt slightly hopeful but there was never any hope when I most needed it And there is little I wish to recall the years are wrought with sadness I've lost my mind, a million times but I always find it again within madness As my heart has drifted along I knew it could not stay afloat with each day that passed I felt it sink deeper in misery's boat So there, amongst the dead I came to the conclusion That it was time to bring an end to my life's illusions The blood flowed like a river as I took a razor to my wrist I would have made preparations, said good-byes but, I doubt I'll be missed It became so cold as everything went black for the first time, I felt peace because I knew there was no going back No hope. No dreams. No anything. I had no further reason to try I no longer wished to live I do not regret the decision I made to die

You sit there watching me as I burn, Why don't you help me? You just sit there and watch me yearn.But these aren't flames of fire, These are flames of pain.
You sit there watching me burn as the blood drips down like rain. The weight of my burdens it too much to bear. I cry out in agony But you 're still just sitting there.
I'm slowly disappearing, And slowly fading away But still you sit there watching me burn You seem to have nothing to say. As the tears finally swell up in my eyes,
I look at you and cry my last good byes, But still you sit there watching me burn
Now with a smile upon your face. You are happy now Knowing that I'm about to disappear without a trace

Black sun rays fall upon my soul casting dark shadows Causing it to become withered and grow cold my skin starts pealing away showing the real me in an ugly way
Today, just the same Tomorrow, just the same Yesterday is gone, but the pain will never go away The clock hands are ticking backwards it seems things that have happened in the past seem to be coming back Driving the razor blades into my unholy flesh leaving me here naked and bare striped away from all what makes me sane now drowning in the sorrow of the black sun rays

Life frozen or caught on fire, why does it matter? Cut deep or shallow scratch,in narrow alleys with a patch of darkness. Falling up or getting down, a cup of glass cutting our throats. Mass collections of suicide notes, and a small amount of hope. Falling into death in deep with darkness, seeking thought or maybe not. Going in circles with out a fight, not slavery and so far out of sight. Loss and false hopes binding us down,
its our cost of not being found.Sounds of voices peek in our heads, fallen asleep deep in our beds.Graves of memories found in our dreams,deep dreams filling with passion and rising with action.Faith calling and showing our fates,knowing of death and full of hates.Sedating our minds and lost hopes of love,kind and gentle thoughts of warmness,
Killed our fate of endless fought circles,lonelyness found here between worlds.The sound of calling,found and falling

WHY MUST I FEEL THIS WAY WHY MUST I LIVE THIS DAY SO PLEASE LEAVE ME TO CRY WHILE I LAY DOWN AND DIE LIKE AN ABYSS OF BROKEN HEARTS LIKE A NEVERENDING STAIR OF COLD EYES LIKE A DOLL ATTACKED PEIRCING MY SKIN I'M ON THE OUTSIDE OF HELL LET ME IN REFLECT UPON THE TROUBLES IN YOUR LIFE SO REFLECT ALL I SEE IS MY REFLECTION IN THE MIRROR IT'S DIEING FASTER AND FASTER NOW IT'S TIME FOR ME TO GO I LOVE THIS EVIL BUT I WAS WRONG AND THATS WHY I MUST REFLECT ON THE DARKEST HOLE IN MY HEART YOU.


                                    LOVE ALWAYS AND FOREVER
                                              CHARLIE NUTTER

I WANT TO DEDICATE TIS AS WELL TO SHARON FAY CHADWICK THE GIRL I WILL ALWAYS HURT AND LOVE OVER.

TELL ME WHY MUST I FEEL THIS WAY, I LOVE YOU MORE THAN WORDS CAN SAY I TRY TO GET THROUGH EACH DAY BUT SOMETIMES I THINK THERE IS NO WAY BUT I DO JUST CAUSE I KNOW ONE DAY I WILL GET TO LOOK THROUGH THOSE BEAUTIFUL GREEN EYES OF YOURS YOUR EYES OPEN ALL KINDA DOORS IN MY HEART THERE'S ALWAYS TOMORROW WHEN WE CAN START OVER I NEVER MEANT TO MAKE YOU CRY AND WHEN I DID I CRY'D AND DIE'D INSIDE I'M SORRY I JUST WANT TO DIE PLEASE GOD HELP ME PLEASE I'M SORRY, MY HEART FELL APART IN FRONT OF YOU THAT DAY YOU LEFT ME MY HEART SHATTER'D INTO A THOUSAND LITTLE PEICES NOW THAT YOUR GONE I'M SORRY LETS MAKE THINGS RIGHT AND START OVER PLEASE.

WHEN I STAND HERE WONDERING WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING HERE NOTHING
ITS COLD, ITS SILENT, THE HALLS ARE EMPTY SO WHAT THE !FUCK! SHOULD I DO WHEN THERES NO ONE TO CARE WHEN MY LIFE IS JUST GOING NO WHERE THE DAYS PASS ME BY  LEFT TO RIGHT , RIGHT TO LEFT THERES NOT MUCH I CAN DO WHEN THE DAYS PASS ME BY, THESE DAYS PASS ME BY SO WHAT TO DO IN THE MEAN TIME SMOKE SOME DOPE AND BEAT MY HEAD ON MY GRAVESTONE OR CAN I JUST CHILL AND LET THE DAYS PASS ME BY UNTIL THE DAY I DIE

LIFE IS LIKE A GAME OF CHESS WEATHER YOU
WIN OR LOSE WE ARE ALL PONS IN TIS FUCK'D UP LITTLE GAME WHY BOTHER WITH LOVE WHEN YOU KNOW THAT IT WILL ALL END IN HEARTBREAK WHEN YOU'VE HAD YOUR HEART BROKEN YOU'LL LEARN LOVE SUCKS AND YOU'LL TRAIN YOURSELF NEVER TO LOVE OR TRUST AGAIN LIKE I HAVE OVER THE YEARS NOW I SIT HERE WRITING THIS BECAUSE I HAVE BROKEN MY OWN RULE NEVER OPEN UP TO ANYONE AND I BROKE THAT RULE BECAUSE I LOVE A GIRL NAMED SHARON FAY CHADWICK AND WHEN I OPEN'D UP THINKING I CAN TRUST AND LOVE I WAS WRONG AND NOW I SIT HERE CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP CAUSE I HAVE NOTHING MORE TO GIVE TO MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY 

SPEAK TO NUTTERZ NEVER MORE