I wanted to write this before, but I don´t have internet at home...
well... right now I work in a sex shop. Maybe next week I´ll take photos of myself inside the shop...
I was born in a village from Almeria, at the south east of Spain, and now I´m living in Alicante city.. why?? I needed a new life.
I studied English teacher training at the University but all my motivation for studying or for getting a better job has disappeared
(by the way, sorry if I have mistakes in English)
I don´t have any friend in my village, in the time in which I should have gone out, have parties, etc I was locked in my house on purpose.
I went to England for 3 months, when I came back to Spain, I hated everything... I hated my village, I hated studying, and I wanted to live in a city. So, after failing the exams to be an English teacher (as you can read, my English is not perfect), I moved to Almeria city, alone.
All my life alone, I never feel that I belong to any group of people.
In Almeria, well, in the end, I got a bad job as a waiter. In my village I was a waiter as well, and my father was the boss. He had a heart attack and we had to close the bar.
(Ah! before going to Almeria I had saved enough money working as night receptionist...)
I also had to solve some sexual problems that now don´t exist, I needed an operation. And nobody (but a person) knew what I was suffering in silence. It was a shame to tell that problem or the fact that people know that.
And the suffering for nothing, I´m still virgin, damm it!!!
Later, I got a job offer to work as a hotel receptionist near my village, I accepted but it
was a terrible mistake. That was the time i felt more depressed and I didn´t have good relationships with my family, most of the time I had night turn, again... so, after a year, I went alone to Alicante city. Why??? because there are more hotels than in Almeria, and I hated living with my family.
I arrived here and I got a good job as administrative-teleoperator for CAM, a Spanish Savings bank... It was too beautiful to be true, cos in all my previous jobs I had to work 6 days a week, and in CAM it was only from Monday to friday, and all the party days free!!!
I got fired and it was unjust. They wanted to save in staff. Then I work in a 24 hour opened shop, and later it was closed. Everybody fired.
Finally I found my job, in a sex shop. It´s not
stressing, but it´s also 6 days a week. I sell
dildos, vibrators, love dolls, penis rings, condoms, lubricants, porno movies (it is also a videoclub), aphrodisiacs, etc... It´s a funny job.
The only disadvantage is that I work 6 days a week, and maybe that sometimes gays try to pick me up. Do I look like a gay??? One wanted me to f* him in a cabin.
I don´t have any success with girls... the only relations that I have had with girls have been through mobile chats... I liked a girl from a city that was very far from where I lived. Despite I visited her, it ended very bad, for some of my paranoias, maybe...
I liked also a girl who lived near France, and I think she is dead, or has another boyfriend. I can´t understand it. I visited her, more than six hours travelling, and we kissed over and over again. I was thinking to let everything and maybe
move to her city, but I was not sure. I have written to her, I have phoned her, and nothing!!!
She was like me, by the way, she went to a psychiatrist and she also worked at night.
Here in Alicante??? First, I liked a group of people who loved Rammstein, a cool group that I like as well. I´m a paranoid, and (damm I don´t know the word... a person that doesn´t pardon.)
yes. I think a girl liked me, but it was false, cos she was drunk. Paranoidly (does thar word exist??? hahahaha)
paranoidly I hated her in a paranoidly way.
and all her group as well.
I wanted to go out with my work partners, but there is a problem: I am hetero and they are homosexual. A lesbian and a gay. i don´t like to go to the places they go out.
Tonight I´ll go out, lately I sheldom go out...
I´ll go to a pub called Coyote. It´s a rock pub,
the groups I can hear there are Rammstein, System of a down, Marilyn Manson ( :) ), Red Hot Chilly Peppers, Linking Park, etc...
I´m living in a 30 square meters flat, very small, but in a good place. Near the job. Just
17 minutes walking. I walk a lot.
I usually go to "cafes-teatros", pubs in which there is stand up comedy, I mean, where people make monologues (cafe teatro, the translation is theater-cafes, it´s strange...)
I discovered this web thanks to the porno star Belladonna, in the sex shop we have the movies in which she is pregnant...
and what else could I say???
I´d like to play Wii, I have seen it on tv and looks great!!!
I like black and red. And now more black than red.
I´m wearing all black...
better to finish writing, I wish I had something more interesting to say... well here I finish.
