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What are you waiting for?
what am i supposed to do when close freinds talk about suicide/impy death isn't so bad/that they are just waiting for the end?
I'm in no position to offer people advice on how to live thier life, no authority. However, just listening and patting them on the back without esponding directly to how it make me feel seems like the action is being encouraged. Probelm is thier actions match up with their words, I love them and don't want to see them make a bad decision but for all I know it is the right decision for them.
listening to Avenged Sevenfold - A Little Piece Of Heaven, familiar with it? Well I just listened to to for the first time and it reminded me of another song (Oingo Boingo's "Nasty Habits", of course.)
I'm no expert and it's probably just some convention for that tone/style...but here you go, a link to one of the similar OB bits i'm familiar with:
http://youtu.be/NzhtHERoUog?t=3m4s
and the a7x bit:
http://youtu.be/VurhzANQ_B0?t=3m16s
There are others such as the rapid chanting but I don't want to ruin the fun for you...
Your thoughts?
several times recently awoke sharply from deem REM sleep and came to a realization that I don't have identical dreams but rather a series of dream patterns that each seem to follow thier own similar path. its like my brain is re organizing my life experiences into groups of patterns and running me through simulations.
honestly, i find that illuminating but quite booring. is this me telling myself it is time for a change of scenery?
last week i had a lucid dream. i knew 100% i was in a dream and could do anything I wanted to but all the visiuals were so distorted that I wasn't in a stable recognizable space where i would be free to manipulate literally to my wildest dreams. it got really booring. then I didn't care and was just waking to wake up. what a waste! I felt really sad afterwards, this was probably only the ~20th lucid dream of my life.
on awakening i realized how important the visual component is to dreams. very interesting. perhaps my mind was telling me I was done exploring that sense and might find more satisfaction exploring others.
now what? dreaming sounds? touches? tastes? all in a vaccum of visual experience? surely I have done it before in the 4000 years of mo0dern human evolution. at some point I was blind. among a lot of other things.
speculation is fun but dont' hang your hat on it
~imagine
5/2/2009
Wandering the streets of Osaka with Bill at around midnight, looking for a fun club (which is hard as hell to find when there are thousands in three dimensions. underground, ground level and two dozen stories up, each with a tiny sign that gives no clue to the contents inside)...after almost entering a few we come upon one that has about a dozen japanese girls lined up in front with ZERO dudes. I tell Bill, "this has to be a trick" but we reckon that if there are that many hotties entering NOW that it doesnt matter how many guys there are inside. After all, we are tall white foregners so this is going to be easy. So we pay the $30 cover (cheap considering that is on the low end of what clubs charge) only to discover this is some kind of loud-as-hell techno club. WTF ever, let's make it happen, so I peel off my photo gear and stuff it into two lockers.
I could go on and on but basically we worked ourselves into a trance and danced our asses off while.... There were some other white dudes in the club but they were making asses of themselves. So then RADIO SLAVE (!) starts playing and everyone goes nuts. After about two hours of Radio Slave I am wet with sweat so we decide to move on, it being about 4am.
We come upon this sign fo a club called Ganja Acid and decide to investigate...three floors up behind a black door on a black wall with a little post card sized sign. We debate outside the door on wether or not to enter and finally decide to open the door...
this is going to get really long
more later
They pulled us over in our rental car for tinted windows. $450 and an hour and a half later they let us go, only to have another "cop" pull us over again for the same reason. I guess that is what you get with income disparity and as spring breakers we should have expected it. Just a warning before you decide to travel in a car south of the border: Assume you WILL BE PULLED OVER by "cops". Travel in a rental car, not your own so they can't easily confiscate it. Have full documentation ready, including mexican insurance. Don't have tinted windows. Make sure you can access at least 3000 pesos or more, depending on how deep they have you in for. Don't worry, the "cops" will let you know exactly were the nearest ATM is while they hold your car and friends. Don't drive at night as you don't want to withdraw bribe money from an ATM in the shadows. Don't drive after drinking any amount of alcohol or be in possession of anything remotely illegal, including viagra without prescription. (oops) Hmm...that's about it. Traveling to Mexico just to hang out and party really isn't worth the risk. It is rarely cheaper at the clubs and you have to deal with scammers of all sorts. I'm just glad we made it home without injury.
I was prepared to die. The sight of blacked-out suburbans going backwards down the street, moving the car three times, interrogated seperately, people in street clothes revealing their heat to us as they walk by and my friend has been gone for half an hour to go to an ATM just around the corner. They wanted four thousand and I didn't know my pin.
Worst of all, one of them kept telling me to be tranquilo while me friend was gone for a long, long time to the ATM. He came back from the first ATM and told them he could not withdraw money there because people were watching and following him very closely. Now, aren't they supposed to be actively scaring us to get the most money possible? It was like the handful of grass you feed the cow before you pop it in the back of the head.
