I sit here and think about him. No matter what time, day or night, he is right there in the front of my mind. Its like no matter what I do, I am fucked. He invades every corner and creavice of my brain, and no matter how hard I try to think of something else, it always tangents back to him. I could be thinking of flowers, and Ill start thinking how girls get flowers on Valentine's Day, and then Ill start thinking of our VDay plans. Its unexplainable how he invaded my mind.
Now I am wondering about how faithful he has been or will be in the future. I am not sure if this is because of the things I have seen and heard with my own eyes and ears, or if this is just me thinking that this is naturally how my relationships are supposed to go. Like Dane Cooks says, I usually end up having relationshits. LOL I am just so confues and for once I want to know that I am doing the right thing and be happy with it. I am sick of worrying about menial shit and not ever being able to just focus on myself. I am just sick of the bs and I cant seem to even think straight anymore.
I think it's time for a cig....
