Out on monday night was the most bizarre night i may have expierienced (not counting the several night i don't quite remember). First off the starting place of our nights out was closed for unknown reasons and due to these circumstances a change of venue was needed. In our next stop were several of the hooded offenders teaching a polish person how to speak..... you can imagine the only words that were said from this moment on were 'Fuck' and 'Ghetto Booty mate!'. I would have beat them with my invisable yet rather pain inducing stick of mass damage but I was too distracted by a tube of lip gloss left in the ash tray which was still full. In my drunken state i decided to squeeze the whole tube into the ash tray and use it to stick all the contents together to make a rather disgusting lollipop looking abomination. Another venue change was in order.. "TOO THE ROIAD HOUSE!"
On our casual walk up an alleyway we were then followed by two men that were very drunk and threatened to hit us with a bottle of magners. Pure fools i do believe is the term i would use to describe them but they decided to run at us shouting and screaming but we just carried on walking. As soon as they caught up with us they didn't know what to do and so decided to leave us alone.
In the queue to enter the mighty roadhouse and the two pure fools returned but avoided us and annoyed the guys in front. Being all friendly they decided to do some beat boxing and make a song about being against abortion (w/e floats your boat). They then left entering the take-out conviently placed right next to me and came back with some chicken and a burger. They then proceeded to shove the burger in one guys face and throw chicken over him. The guys name was Darren and he wasn't too pleased. After a few minutes the chav'd up master idiot decided to start bad mouthing all of big Darrens mates... this was when the fun started. Out of nowhere Darrens elbow shut behind him taking one of the guys clean off his feet and to the floor, bringing his hands forward once again he grabbed the second gyraters head and smashed his head off the nearest lampost. Both clowns taken down by a large novelty hammer i'd say. It was like a deer in the head lights in my eyes, poor darren happened to break his pinky on the lampost unfortunately.
The night in the roadhouse was pretty mundane after that apart from a novelty midget.
