The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement
bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of$1,000 for every
inch measured in a straight line between any two points in his body. The officer got to
choose what those two points would be.
The first officer who accepted asked that he be measured from the top of His head
to the tip of his toes. He was measured at six feet and walked out with a bonus
of $72,000.
The second officer who accepted was a little smarter and asked to be measured from
the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a noncommissioned officer, a grizzly old Chief who, when asked
where he would like to be measured replied, "From the tip of my weenie to my testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider, explaining about
the nice big checks the previous two Officers had received. But the old Chief
insisted and they decided to go along with him providing the measurement was
taken by a Medical Officer.
The Medical Officer arrived and instructed the Chief to "drop 'em," which
He did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of the Chief's
weenie and began to work back. Dear Lord!" he suddenly exclaimedWhere are your testicles?"
The old Chief calmly replied, " Vietnnam "
