While gender roles have often been set in stone so to speak in western culture, those roles are changing and the line between what guys and gals are supposed to be doing becoming blurred or erased all together. In an age where women can be astronauts and brain surgeons, why cannot men be stay at home dads? The trend is becoming more and more popular as the marketplace opens up for women to earn and do as much as their male counterparts in predominately male occupations. Couples choose to have the man stay at home and raise their children for many reasons. Sometimes the woman has a higher income or is on a fast paced career track that is monetarily beneficial for the family than the mans. Sometimes the man decides to stay home to be more accessible to his children and deal with a child crisis such as an illness or behavior problem. Sometimes the couple decides even before they have children who will stay at home. Whatever the reason, Stay at home dads are just as vital to the up rearing of their children and management of their households than stay at home moms are. Though the trend is on the rise, there are a number of negative myths associated with the stay at home dad due to the stereotyping of gender roles which we find present in every level of society. Such myths include:
1. Stay at home dads are lazy. Well if they were lazy, they wouldn't make much of a stay at home parent. Parents who do the primary care giving are filled from dawn to well after dark with a multitude of tasks to accomplish, the least of which are household chores, feeding, bathing and monitoring children, and cooking supper. the stay at home parent is usually responsible for the majority of household management including scheduling, school related activities and extra circular activities. The role of the stay at home parent can be summed up in these few words: babysitter, housekeeper, taxi cab driver, scheduling coordinator, first aid nurse, disciplinary supervisor, cook, accountant, chauffeur, gopher, janitor, maintenance worker, counselor, telephone operator, messaging service and psychoanalyst. Try doing all those jobs in one day let alone everyday, seven days a week without a day off.
2. Stay at home dads are wimpy. No, they are just too busy trying to keep the kids from killing each other in the back seat on a free way to chase you down and beat you to a pulp for cutting them off in traffic. Men are no less "manly" for having the majority of child rearing burdened on them. In fact, they are often able to take a much more involved role in their children's lives and show them things that "moms" probably would never allow to be done because they were out of her physical realm. Stay at home dads are often more energetic and physically active than their 9-5 office mongering counterparts and as such are often more physically fit and healthy.
3. Stay at home dads have it easy cause they don't have to do anything but sit on the couch and watch TV all day. (please refer to #1 on this) This has always been the common perception about any stay at home parent. Please people.
4. Stay at home dads are living off their "sugar momma's". While the working parent usually provides the major portion of income for sustaining the household, the stay at home parent is hardly living off their earnings. This is a joint effort in budget and management that allows both parties to do their share of maintaining the household. In fact, a lot of stay at home parents do work part time in the home, babysitting, after school care for other parents, odd jobs. some even write, work on line, or run a home business all while still managing to provide quality time with their children and maintaining a responsibly run household.
5. Stay at home dads cheat more because women love them. Not true. Being a stay at home dad does not make you any more attractive to women than you already were, and in real life, the neighbors wives are not usually sex starved fiends dying for attention ready to prance on the first available guy that comes along. Stay at home dads are just as responsible with their marriage vows as stay at home moms, there is no reason to think they are suddenly transformed into hormone raged sex hounds because they are not at an office all day and suddenly have a lot of "free time". The fact is, stay at home guys are often considered less attractive to women because of the previously mentioned myths associated with them, even if they are incredibly hot.
6. Stay at home dads make terrible parents. Not true. If they sucked at being a Dad, why would they elect to do it 24 hours a day? Studies show that the more involved a father is in the Childs life, the more well adjusted the child is. While it's not necessary for a guy to go out and quit his job and insist on staying home for this reason, it is food for thought. Women are not naturally selected to be the better care giver. In fact, men have a much stronger tolerance for negative behavior and are able to elicit disciplinary response quicker and easier from children than women are according to some scientific studies.
7. Stay at home dads aren't smart or educated enough to get a job which is why they stay home. Many stay at home men have excellent educations. Staying at home doesn't mean your uneducated by any means.
8. Stay at home dads are a burden to their family. This is the exact opposite. They are usually a blessing as they are willing to take on the task of homemaker and care giver where otherwise there would be no one. Even if they do not perform any functions of monetary value, i.e. working at home, they are still taking an active role in their families lives by being the support system that they would otherwise not have, providing child care that would cost a fortune for a two income family, and teaching their children that what they want to be when they grow up is not limited by gender specific guidelines. Stay at home dads also have time to pass along work and education skills to their children that they would otherwise not be able to do, be involved in their children's education and be their children's friend when they need one.
So you see, Stay at home Dads are not all they are cracked up to be, they are much, much more.
