Melvin's blog: "My Writings"

I’ve decided to start a section of writing called “Human Behaviors”. The point behind these articles will be to show my feelings and understandings when it comes to the behavior of individuals in this world. Those of you that know me well know that I’ve a very analytical and logical person, and for the most part, I can tell a lot about you from the first ten minutes of interaction with you, especially if we’re face to face. I’m incredible at reading body language and body movements. Anyway, this article is about trust There are many variables that make a person who they are. I believe that the ability (or lack there-of) to trust other individuals is a big part about how people act/react in a situation. I believe that the default human behavior is to trust everyone you come across. Think about it, when you were a kid, did anyone need to “earn” your trust? No, they didn’t, because the World was simple, everything you heard was a truth, even things that contradicted others, because, somehow, in your mind, everything could co-exist in harmony, no matter how different they were. As we age, we begin to see the World for what it is a place full of lies, half-truths, and false promises. As we are exposed to this harsher environment, our ability to trust changes. We find it harder to trust people as we are lied to more and more, or we stop trusting all together. We even begin to question people that have never lied to us and have been nothing but truthful. When we get to the stage that we finally allow someone close enough to trust them entirely, and they do something to betray that trust, it tears at your soul, you question they’ve ever told you, you even begin to question people that are in no way connected to the subject. To keep from feeling this pain, we, as humans, put up an emotional barrier, so to speak. This barrier can be strong or weak, it depends on the will power and how bad the person that puts it up has been hurt in the past, and how many times. The more times and the more severe the pain is, the stronger the emotional barrier will be. Sometimes it takes a long time, but eventually everyone in this world has been/will be hurt bad by someone they trust, be it a friend boyfriend/girlfriend, spouse, or family member, everyone in this lifetime is going to be exposed to letdowns, broken promises, be lied to, and be hurt, some people more than others. As we put up our emotional barriers and allow less and less people to get to our heart, some of us will grow cold, and angry. These people are the people that dwell on the feelings that they felt when they were betrayed, something goes through their mind, they like feeling that pain, because it’s a reminder of what could happen again, this helps them reinforce the emotional barrier, make it stronger, and even harder for people to get in.. (I.E. emo kids do this a lot, which is why most of them feel alone, because they don’t allow people inside their heart and through the emotional barrier) The barrier that is put is also just a variable; it will only be there as long as the person allows it to be there. If the person doesn’t dwell on the feelings and allows themselves to heal, their barrier may be taken down quickly, if the person dwells and relives the experience over and over again, they may never remove the barrier. As we keep pushing forward in life, our heart will become slightly callus (for lack of a better term). We will ignore the strangers, not even stopping to say hi, or attempt to meet them (Good example is any small city to metropolitan area, go there and see how many friendly faces you see if you’ve never been around the people before). We do this because even though most people aren’t, we all start to feel paranoid, (subliminally) that because we don’t know them, they could possibly be out to emotionally scar you, so you don’t let them in, you don’t give them the time of day. No smile, no look, eventually you see right through strangers, just like they’re physical obstacles. Think of how great a place the World would be if we could go back to the default behavior and trust everything we heard. However that will never be possible, because in this World, there’s not one person that won’t lie, cheat, or steal to get ahead (especially in the United States). Therefore we all need our barriers that we’ve build and stand behind. However, rarely meeting new people and giving them the opportunity to get behind the barrier wouldn’t all be a bad thing. Written by: Denton Melvin 1/31/06 4:31 PM

Some people see life differently than others. Some see it as a menance that should be ended, some see life as something great that should be shared. Some people are cold, others are fun and light-hearted, but there is no one the same. There may be strong similarities between two individuals, but there are no EXACT copies. I see life a lot differently than most people. I try to break down everyday like a scientist breaks down a proceduare to find out exactly what it is. I've come to realize that life is nothing more than experiences and reactions. Everything you encounter is an experience, driving, running, breathing. Anything that you can think of is an experience and it's these experiences that make up your life. The way that you react to experiences that you encounter is what makes you who you are, or your "character" so to speak. Is there a god? I don't kno wthe answer to that question, which is the reason I don't try to force my religion on people. Do I think there is a god? Absolutely. Another part of my theory begins here. The way that I react to experiences is my judgement when I reach Heaven. I'm being judged right now as I write this, and if you're tryin got think what "experience" this is my reaction to, well, I started writing, and while writing, I reacted to my thoughts (which would be the experience, thinking) The reasons states is why I am the way I am. Many of you that know me know that I'm a verlerable person, I will accept your opinion no matter what it is, I may not agree, but I won't try to change it. Your experiences in life and your reactions to them are the reasons your opinion is different, so by trying to change your opinion, I feel that I'm trying to change the person, and that's something that you don't want to do, however, I will tstate my opinion and the reasons behind it, and if you want to accept it and change your opinion then that's your perogrative, I can't stop you, but don't agree with my opinion if you don't understand it. So... in closing, this was MY OPINION, if you agree, great, if not, great. It doesn't matter. All that matters is that you have an opinion based on your experiences. Written By Denton Melvin 08/27/2006 10:50 PM

I was busy last night running through random ideas and thoughts and the throught of racial and religious discimination in the United States came to mind and I began to feel sick. The thought of hate crimes and hate in general popped up next. Following all of these ideas came the thought of worldwide spread hate. The thought of all of this distanin and malaice throughout the entire Globe caught my attention and made me reflect on myself, and how I act, the memories of how I've acted since I was a child made me smile and made me proud to say that I'm American. After going over everything in my mind I came up with ways to try to show people why discrimination is outdated are is no place for it in the United States today. Being caucassion, I realized that all caucassions trust me before they would trust someone African American or Arabic - American. After much thought I also realized that it's the same for every other race, they would trust their own race before trusting me. This is the reason that our country is in the terrible shape it's in. I began to winder if there was any way to get rid of at least some of the problems in this country. There was little discrimination against the Arabic - Americans before 9/11, and yes, it was a horrible thing that happened, and I hope that it's never forgotten. You can't judege an entire race on the actions of a handful of individuals though, no matter how unspeakable the actions are. If you are a person that discriminated against Arabic people after 9/11, I pray that you have matured and are able to see why those actions are wrong. I can understand anger and sadness as a result of 9/11, but to push that anger on people because they're the same race as the people that commited the act is wrong. Why is there such a untrusting feeling between whites and blacks? If someone could give me a decent answer to this question is would be greatly appreciated. Any distrust should only come from the African - Americans, and only because most caucassions treat them like second rate citizens. However, once again, , you can't base the actions of an entire race on individuals. I can understand people not liking hip-hop or rap music, but not liking it because it's primarly a black medium, that's unnacceptible, and giving me a dirty look for listening to it is equally as bad. If you judge me on the fact that I listen to "urban" music, while wearing my hat backwards on chrome 20's, and not actually stopping to talk to me, then you have screwed up morals and really need to spend some time reflecting on yourself. I'm sure that some people reading this don't know me, judged me based on what I just said as a "wannabe black gangster," this is America, so you're allowed to do that, however it's wrong. Based on that judgement you wouldn't guess that I spent 2 weeks in New Orleans helping with hurricane cleanup, or that I stopped in the ghetto of Kansas City (between Prospect and Troost) to jumpstart a vehicle for someone that I'd never met, or how I've spent the last 4 summers helping with youth sports. Now what do you judge me as? This is the same reason you can't judge anyone based on apperiances. I can't count the number of times that I've recieved a dirty look from people because of my vehicle and my music, these looks are because people judge others before they ever meet them or actually avoid meeting them completely because of their judgement. And for the white people reading this, if you're one of those "White Supremesists," you need serious mental treatment, the only reason you exist is because our race was good at being evil and hateful. Is that something to really be proud of? If you don't trust people of other races because of 9/11, or because of some deep seated hatred that you don't even understand, then you need to take a long look in the mirror. No one has commited more autrocities than the white race. Hitler was white, Timothy McVeigh (Oklahoma City bomber, Federal Building bombing) was white, the Unibomber was white. White people slaughtered the American Indians, white people caused WWI, white people kidnapped blacks from their homes and made them work for nothing. No president was ever assassinated by anyone that wasn't white. Still think that the white race is superior? If you're white, and you're mad at the Arabic - Americans for 9/11, then you have to mad at yourself for WW-I, WW-II, The Oklahoma City Bombing, the actions of the unibomber, and every presidential assiassnation in history. The entire problem with racism and hate in America is that people only see things in one perspective. Many people don't stop to think how a story has 2 sides, and how each side will be slightly distorted. When people feel anger directed toward a race, they don't stop to think of what their race has done in the past to other people. Every race has had a murderer, a vandilist, a burgler, so why don't we treat everyone the same. Treat others the way that you want them to treat you, yes, it's cheezy, but it's true. How can you expect someone to treat you with respect if you're always disrespecting them? I hope this has made you think, and reflect on your life. Can you honestly say that you've givben everyon an equal chance in life? Can you honestly say that you don't hate anyone becasue of their color or religion? Can you honestly say that you NEVER assume something about someone because of how they look, but instead of their actions or other personal experiance that you've had with the individual? I'm proud to be able to say that I make an honest attempt to give everyone an equal chance, I don't hate anyone on appearances, and I always base judgement of an individual on a personal experiances with that person, never on what I hear from other people. I hope that everyone sees the point I've tried to make with this, rant, so to speak. Most impotantly I hope that I've opened the eyes of anyone that discriminates against anyone. Remember, no one should care who you were, because it's who you are now that people interact with. It's never too late to change if you're willing to put forth an effort. Written by: Denton Melvin 10/21/06 - 1:24 AM