353307's blog: "My writing"

Why is there so much pain to an end? I look down to the road of happiness and I can never see around the next bend Where have the days of open minds and hearts disappeared? When all I have ever wanted is for the path to be cleared I want to remember what it is like to be the focus of someone’s heart From beginning to end I never got a fair start I am tumbling down into the depths of loneliness, and it was my intent My soul is screaming it will scream until I no longer feel bent I look in the mirror and I see a face of a man who is lost in a world he does not belong Waiting to be awakened by the beat of his heart once it is strong When you dive in head first you are just waiting to be drowned Drowned by love when no one else is around In the end all I have is what I had when I began I should have looked the other way, I should have ran When I think of what could have been and what was meant to be I wonder if in this master plan anyone has ever thought of me When the knife slips through your defense All of the pain starts to make sense It is the sting of trust being broken It is the burn of every lie ever spoken I am man built around a ball of passion and fire Wanting nothing more than to provide to her every desire When there is no fuel left to feed the flame My hard cold heart is all that is left to blame So now I walk alone once again Right where I was when I began Wanting to go back and make it all not so I have no signs to point where I should go It is out of fear that I offer you no hope It is in my own heart that I cannot cope Your petty imperfections are where I point my blame But this is just how I justify my fear and my pain When I say I love you I mean every bit I can’t force you to listen so here I will sit Wanting you to know that it is not all your fault My heart is locked away in a cast iron vault The last emotion it felt was a stinging bite It hurt and it bled, it had to put up a fight It locked itself away in the depths of my pain Afraid to come back out ever again There it will sit until my last lonely night Until the one who is pure of soul comes along to treat it right It will explode to life and never skip a beet Because in the end my heart is my soul not a piece of meat.

On cold long nights when I am all alone Al I need to do is look at her deep blue eyes to feel right at home She has an open ear when there is nowhere else to go On some days she can feel like the only thing I know When I look for an escape or a way to get away It is in her cold arms I wish that you could stay She can calm my soul with her every sound Her soul and mine are eternally bound She is full of power and unquestioning love too She will never turn her back no matter what I might do She is my friend, my companion, and my one true place for emotion I can always rely on my friend, my companion, my love, the ocean. From the heart of, me, a sailor who came to terms with the mighty ocean.

When others look at me they might see a vain man. It is out of misunderstanding and quick judgment that leads people to this conclusion. When I look at my body I see a thing of the past and a vessel to my ambition. I am on my path to allowing my body to become my vision of perfection. No matter how much pain and perseverance it may take I will mold my body into my temple. I wasn’t handed genes that instantly made me skinny, and muscular. I am taking what was handed to me and building myself it into my dream. You call it vanity I call it reality. It is no different than showing a new pair of shoes or a new car. You are excited because something you only dreamed of is in your possession. I dream of possessing a mind and body that are sculpted for knowledge and power. It isn’t easy forcing yourself out of bed to do another agonizing workout. It takes weeks to see the first signs of improvement. It is a long road and not many make it to the destination. It is not a road for the meek or faint of heart. Week three is behind me, who knows how many more will pass before I reach the end. Until then I will continue to push and check for results, and from time to time show what I am accomplishing. I am taking others along the way. They jump on to follow their own path. I show them the basics and they first learn to crawl, and then the walk, finally they are running their own course. Nothing is more gratifying than achieving your dream and helping others to visualize theirs.