So my weekend was too fast, Friday night we went to my aunt and uncle's house for my uncle's 50 b-day, Nathaniel, my son, got soaking wet so we had to leave. I love that side of my family because they keep me in touch with my father that will be gone a year coming up on november 1, I miss you daddy and not a day goes by that i don't think of you. saturday, my bf and I took my son to chuckie cheese and then we went shopping at the mall. Then we went to visit my mom. Saturday night I put blue black streaks in my hair, check out the new photos. Sunday, joe (my bf) and I went shopping for my son's b-day which is on Wednesday. then we went grocery shopping and just vegged out at home.
Did you ever wonder if you were ever living a lie. that your whole entire being is fake. I feel that way everyday now. I am almost 99% sure that my bf cheated on me and usually I am the girl that will not put up with that and would have kicked him to the curb already, but STUPID me, let him run up my charge cards and stuff and I know that if he leaves I will not see any money to help pay them off and I will be financially strapped. And before him I was doing just fine, I had bought me a house and I had a little extra money every month to take my son out to fun places, but I know now if I make my bf leave that I will not be able to pay my bills. I have been trying to get a loan and shit to try to pay off the credit cards but I can't. This sucks. Because I hate hearing him tell me he loves me when I know he really doesn't. I hate him for acting as if nothing ever happened. I hate him for denying it, when all the proof is there. I just wish he would admit it and then let me deal with it. I don't know. Maybe I am just stupid for getting involved in the first place.
