i was hurting myself for a long time--during my recent dark cycle i needed to feel something better than that darkness--so i hurt myself pretty frequently. i went to the doctor -i couldn't hide neither my physical or mental wounds-so she sent me to the psych ward. while i was in the emergency room i went to the bathroom and beat myself bloody cause i was so sad.
they upped my meds to a pretty intense level--it takes me a full hour now to--you know. i was not allowed a computer, cell phone, cd player, cigarettes,coffee etc--i needed to 'play the game' to get out on 'good behaviour'and i did just that.i got a big problem with eating in public so i went on a hunger strike the last 2 days. when they asked me why i wasn't eating i attributed it to religious fasting. they put me on suicide watch for some reason the last night there. someone came in and physically removed the belt from my pants.
i promised to go to weekly therapy-i played the game-and that hurt-i had to give up my rebellious spirit.
love ya's
