This is my tribute to the nice guys. I know you're out there and I have an open eye for you! So, to you, the nice guys. The nice guys who finish last, never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugz; to those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most women need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a woman's every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style. This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they're at her door, for the guys who accompany women to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a woman is fishing for compliments but give them out freely anyway, for the guys who play by the rules in a game that favors cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don't end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned. This is for you. This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back she spent three hours dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said over dinner. Even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and that she shouldn't worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you'd ever orchastrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her to the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. Even though you thought it immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around. This is also for that time she didn't have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing "serious" between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew noone and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each bout of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone, "Oh, but we're just friends!" And even though you knew you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyway. (Because you're nice like that!) The nice guys seldom get credit where credit is due. Disturbing too, is that the nice guys seldom get laid as often as they should. I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can't. The only conclusion I can conjure up from what I have observed and learned is that many women are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when confronted with such a man, they say irrational, confusing things, such as, "Oh, he's too nice to date." Or "hHe would be a great boyfriend, but not for me." Or "He already puts up with so much from me that I couldn't possibly ask him out." Or the most frustrating of all, "It would ruin our friendship." Yet, at the same time, they continue to lament about the lack of dateable men in the world, and they expect their "too-nice-to-date" male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that ARE jerks. I can't quite figure out why the communication breaks down between whay they say (I just wanna date a nice guy) and what they do (I'm going to sleep with a complete ass now). To you, I want you to know that not every woman feels and acts that way. Some of us realize we should be dating nice guys and not taking them for granted. Some of us realize that with the "bad-boy" men come a "bad-boy" attitude (which I personally think is disgusting) I propose this toast to all of you nice guys!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!! I realize you must be sick and tired of being described as "too-nice." But the truth of the matter is that the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. You are the last of a dying breed. So, for all the crazy, illogical, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations when you are the faceless, nameless hero, my acknowledgement, my accolades, and my sincere grattitude go out to you! I send to you your well deserved vindication. You DO have credibility in this society and in my own personal world!! THANK YOU ALL!!!!!!!!! With love...............Kitty!
