You know someone told me that they believe in GOD. Ok that is their right. Someone once told me there is no GOD. Ok that is their right. Then I thought about it and I believe that there is A GOD.. maybe not what most people think of as GOD but there is someone that watches out for the people here...OK OK you ask me well then how come children die. How come good people die. How come people have to suffer.
I have been thinking alot about this over the last year since my mom was taken from me quite suddenly. WHY?! What am I suppose to do without her? Why did she have to die? Why was I not there when she went? Why is (my) GOD taking her from me and my children? Why did he make it so my daughter had to be the one home with her when it happend? What does it all mean? THEN!! I worked thru most of it and here is what I have come up with. Since (my) GOD is the only one that can give me the answers then he is the one I have to ask. So I did, and here is what I have been told (figativly).
1) WHY?
answer: She was not a well woman.
2) What am I suppose to do without her?
answer: Live my life differently. Take care of myself and live! Have faith, strength, and peace.
3) Why did she have to die?
answer: GOD did not want all of us to suffer like she was. Her death was to be peace for all of us. Her care would have been overwelming and she would not have wanted that.
4) Why was I not there when she went?
answer: GOD knows I hate to say goodbye to anyone. He did not want her to see me broken like that or she would not have been able to go in peace. Her peace of mind before she died was important for her life after.
5) Why did he make it so my daughter had to be the one home with her when it happend?
answer: She loved my daughter with all her being. my daughter is the kindest most loving person in the world and she is strong. (my) GOD knew that my mother needed someone there to give her compassion and strength so he choose the one of all of us that had all my mom needed on her last day. That is my daughter. The love, compassion, strength, and peace that my mom needed to move on.
Finnally
6) Why is (my) GOD taking her from me and my children?
answer: So we can grow and live our lives with her in our hearts. Live with what she taught us be it bad or good. Sometimes the things that she did bad taught us not to do them. Or the things she did good taught us to do them. Most of all it is because we do not need her physical body here any longer because we have her everyday in our hearts.
Well it is alot to come to terms with. It has taken me a whole year of anger frustration and depression to figure it all out but when I sit down and look at my mom's Urn on the shelf and know her body is in there...I realize that that means her spirit is not far behind. That brings me peace. SO in conclusion....Just to let you know. I Belive in GOD...I have FAITH in GOD....I Believe that he wants the best for my life and my children's lives and that is why he has lifted the Burden of a sick mother (grandmother) from our lives so that we can live freely and still have her with us. I turn over to GOD all my burdens and pray that he handles them just as well as he did with my mom. Not that she was a burden at that point but her illness would have made her a burden that I would have taken on lovingly because of her being my mother but one that her and GOD did not feel nescessary for me to bare.
SO the way I am going to live my life:
I would rather live my life as if there is a God, and die to find out there isn't, than live my life as if there isn't, and die to find out there is.
Just repeat this prayer and see how God moves!!
"Lord, I love you and I need you, come into my heart, and bless me, my family, my home, my finances, and all of my friends, in Jesus' name. Amen."
